However, Brian backed up all his offseason claims and showed why he still has the best team in the league. Gronk, Julio and Jamaal is a lethal combination that will bring the rest of the league to it's knees. The only way to stop him is a rogue owner (or myself), who is willing to tame the beast. Someone unexpected, someone who has a history with Brian but has given him the illusion that they are once again allies. That man is...David Troiano.
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| Dave Troiano is, The Dark Knight |
GAME OF THE WEEK:
Taco Corp - 130.9
Kissing Suzy Kolber - 90.4
Yes, you heard me, Dave the owner who hates playing defenses since they're "stupid" is my Super Bowl pick as of Sunday and I'm sticking with it the rest of the season. Last year he thought a major upset of Josh would kickstart a playoff run but it ultimately led to another year without a playoff berth. This season, Taco Corp hit the ground running in week one with a way over the heavily favored Kissing Suzy Kolber. Led by the youth of his squad (Hyde and Hopkins), he put up the second most points this week and has an early division lead, his first in several years. When Vinnie Crocitto was asked about Taco Corp, he claimed, "Taco Corp is a strong program, this is a quality loss for us at KSK. A win for Paesan (Troiano), is a win for the homeland." Michael Scott once said when asked if he'd rather be feared or loved, stated, "neither, I want people to fear how much they love me." I think this sums up Dave's position in a nutshell.
With a balanced core of young talent with a veteran QB like Drew Brees, it may actually be Dave's year with a league poised for more parity. Stronger teams are regressing and now it is time for team's that missed out on the playoffs last season to have their moment of glory. Although a majority of the matchups were decided by more than 30 points, I still believe it will be our most competitive season to date, and that's a patented Nick Caputo promise. I spoke to my longtime neighbor about his strong start and he stated, "I feel like I'm on the verge of greatness. Worst to first. Everything's coming together and everyone's doing their part." It's safe to say that the league is far more entertaining when Davis is winning ballgames. Next week, he takes on Veto Corleone, hoping to keep the good times rolling. Just remember, Dave isn't just the hero we need, but the hero we (everyone but Brian) deserves. Dave also added that "Taco Corp stock is going public today, so stack up on shares now" and I wholeheartedly agree.
For Kissing Suzy Kolber, an offseason marked with tons of promise turned out to be a dud but it's too early to overreact (OR IS IT?). I expect Vinnie to be there when the postseason begins and he voiced similar sentiments when was asked about his team's future. Crocitto stated,
"We've got some players who need to take the week of practice leading up to the game more seriously. Looking at you, Nelson (Agholor). Some players fell victim to playing for the Giants. Championship building is a process, and we are still very confident in our process and where the trajectory we are on will leave us in the end of December."Direct and right to the point. Have to admire that type of leadership. I would except Vinnie to still be playing strong (fantasy) football come seasons end. Next week, he'll take on a struggling Team Christian in hopes of his first win.
Can DeAndre "Hip-Hop" Hopkins propel Dave to a strong season?
Largest Margin of Victory:
Largest Margin of Victory:
Date Rape Bill Crosby over Schenectady Schmeckles - 40.7
Upset of the Week:
Taco Corp over Kissing Suzy Kolber - 3.1 Point Underdog
Upset of the Week:
Taco Corp over Kissing Suzy Kolber - 3.1 Point Underdog
Most Points Scored ($5 for Week 1):
Date Rape Bill Crosby - 155.6
Least Points Scored:
Team Christian - 70.4
Best Waiver Pickup:
Colts D/ST (Team Next Year) - 18 Points
How the Week One losers are feeling this morning...
NOW, FOR YOUR WEEKLY RECAP....
Veto Corleone - 81.2
The Upper Deckers - 120.7
Someone should call child protective services (or Adrian Peterson) for the beating Will put on Ben this weekend. However, it was self-inflicted on Ben's behalf. His trio of Broncos had a tough matchup against Baltimore's stout defense and in fantasy terms it was a nightmare. Peyton Manning looks like half the QB we've come to see after all these years and C.J. Anderson clearly stated his views on fantasy football Sunday night. Ben has his work cut out for him as Dan Carpenter and St. Louis D were the only players to post double digit points this week; something I've honestly never seen before. So congrats? I spoke with Ben about Peyton's season outlook and he told me, "Sunday was frustrating to watch. It's hard not to overreact but I'm not 100% confident." There you have it, Peyton broke Ben's spirit...
As for Dr. James Gavin, Esq. his squad flexed their muscles even with a goose egg from Sammy Watkins. Roethlisberger posted a strong game, as did super tight end Travis Kelce. With a strong outlook for Eric Decker, it would appear The Upper Deckers are on track to have one of the most well-rounded lineups in this league. Next week, he'll have a "date" with Brian as Will attempt to knock off Date Rape Bill Crosby. Winner of this game gets a leg up in the division as Vinnie and Nick's squads are under performing. Will was asked about the big week and stated, "Only one week. Need to stay focused and hungry if I'm going to contend for the title." Will faces an extremely tough roadblock for 2-0 as he welcome's Brian for what should be the best game of Week 2.
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Team Christian - 70.4
Destroy HIM - 107.8
Adrian Peterson hasn't abuse a child this bad since...well, last season. Low-hanging fruit but I had to make the joke. Regardless, Dom made a statement this weekend by abusing Chreeyusz with a well-balanced attack of Matt Forte and Peterson will be a tough matchup for any team going forward. Although he didn't get much production from Megatron and Amari Cooper, it appears as though Dom has found a great option at tight end if Jordan Reed can stay healthy (knocks on wood). I asked Dom about his big win and he elegantly stated, "Should've put up 140." Strong words from an owner poised to make the playoffs for his first time.
The season dubbed as "Team Next Year" is hoping be more like "Team Next Week" as Chreeyusz and company weren't able to put up a fight. Jarvis Landry and Jeremy Hill look like strong selections but duds from Greg Olsen and Allen Robinson and a possible demotion for Joique Bell due to Ameer Abdullah, Chris seems behind the 8-ball early on. The return of a healthy Mike Evans will help (as it will for Jameis too) but Chris has to bounce back strong next week against Kissing Suzy Kolber to ensure he doesn't fall behind too far in what looks to be a strong division from top to bottom. When asked if he's concerned about his team, Chreeyusz said "Yea. I don't feel confident in my team at all." He also went on to say that it was important that you include "...that my rival for the team I want to beat is Will Gavin." So watch out Will. Also, love seeing a new rivalry brew up out of thin air so I'm going to stir up controversy to get to this into a full-blown war.
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| Matt Forte still has something left in the tank |
Schenectady Schmeckles - 110
Date Rape Bill Crosby - 155.7
As he stated all offseason, "my team is the best" and by god, I finally agree with him. Brian mowed down the competition in the opening week putting up an incredible 155 points against an upstart Schmeckles team. Gronk got things going early but Brian's trio of Falcons pulled on an impressive opening night win (hooray for reality!) and Julio Jones put on a clinic to put this one on ice. When asked about the big win, Coach Constantino stated, "You think this was a big week? Wait until my team hits mid-season stride. If I was anyone else in the league I would be very afraid to play my team right now." Gotta love that intensity from Brian, sounded like an old-WWF promo. Next week he takes on old friend Will Gavin but I doubt he shows any mercy whatsoever. Right now it looks like an improbable Dave-Brian matchup in the Super Bowl is evident and I can expect that it will be an all-out war.
As for the Schmeckles, it was a strong start after a disappointing season. Once, Arian Foster is healthy, which may be sooner than expected, Chris will be a very tough out for the rest of the way. The biggest surprise for his squad came in the form of reliable, Tommy Brady. His combination with Julian Edelman will keep him competitive any week #12 laces them up. Now just imagine how Chris would have done if Brady got to play with underinflated balls against the Steelers? Keep tabs on that for the rest of the season. Chris declined to comment on the comment, (probably just missed my text) but I'm sure he'd be pleased with his team so far and expects a 5th Pats championship.
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| Brian going for another championship like... |
Sweet Drippins - 109.4
Mr. Bobbum - 101.4
Two teams that received unofficial high draft grades from yours truly squared off in Week One and Aaron got off to a hot start led by old reliable, Antonio Brown. The closest game of the week came down to Aaron's trusted QB, Tony Romo. Two late strikes to Jason Witten proved to be the deciding factor. When asked about this gritty win, Coach Pommer stated, "I would say it's a sigh of relief. After Victor Cruz single-handedly ruined my season the first week in 2014, it's nice to see my guys step up and get off to a hot start." With a strong win under his belt, Aaron hopes to keep it going with a playoff rematch against Too Many Cooks. Best of luck my brother.
Ah, Josh. Awful luck with receivers have caused him to question his entire existence. Randall Cobb is banged up and Dez is out for at least a month. Is Josh alive? Last time I heard, his car was running inside a closed garage. Thankfully, that was a joke and he was nice enough to comment on his team's chances without Dezmond Bryant. You can smell the confidence oozing from each sentence.
Ah, Josh. Awful luck with receivers have caused him to question his entire existence. Randall Cobb is banged up and Dez is out for at least a month. Is Josh alive? Last time I heard, his car was running inside a closed garage. Thankfully, that was a joke and he was nice enough to comment on his team's chances without Dezmond Bryant. You can smell the confidence oozing from each sentence.
"Gonna sink like the Titanic. Fire sale on Mr. Bobbum's team. Shit went sour real quick. It's over. Fuck this. Fuck my team. Fuck this league. Fuck. Selling everyone for young talent or draft picks to build for next year. My team goes as far as Dez carries us."
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| Josh's reaction to the Dez Bryant news. |
Good Toast - 102.1
Too Many Cooks - 115.7
When asked for a quote on his team's performance, Coach Bergami responded with an essay to sum things up. Here is said essay. Speaking "briefly" about his team going forward, he said
"I just would like to say after hours of thinking what to do with my team I decided to ship them all (away). But then a God (not sure which) sent a message and told me to buy a $25 lotto ticket last night and I won $500. So I'm thinking I'm basically playing fantasy for free now and can ride my team out and see what happens. I was very disappointed before kickoff cause I was projected 106 points. The previous years I believe I projected no less than 120 on (any given) opening week. So that was a real eye opener to me. After Minnesota let up that first touchdown I knew I was done for week one but I saw some good things...
Abdullah, was impressive in his handful of plays this weekend. Hoping he is one of the big steals of the draft but it is way too early to determine but he's a big playmaker and that's what Good Toast is all about. McCoy I'm not worried about especially when Bell comes back (from smoking pot) in Week 3. So the running game I'm not losing sleep over.Strong words from a stronger man. Keenan Allen was fantastic for Bergami this week and will be something to build on as he faces the Schmeckles.
Not to be outdone, the often quotable Nick Caputo had a similar recount to his opening week victory. No need for additional analysis when these two meet as they are two of the most outspoken and outlandish owners in the league. Caputo, when questioned about his mindset throughout Monday explained,
"There was a brief time where my fantasy football season was dead on arrival. As Andre Ellington went down to a nasty looking non-contact injury, I slowly retired to my room to lay face down on my bed and visualize how the rest of the season would go without my best RB. Quickly I scoured the waiver wire for potential replacements and after a grim outlook, I went down to watch my eventual demise with the Giants game. Miraculously, with 5 minutes to go, my often criticized RB-2, Rashad Jennings broke free for a TD only to be outdone by TWO late TD's by another questionable pick, Jason Witten. Just like that my season was spared, for now. It was a gritty team win and that's what we're all about. Next man up. Ellington is out for 2-3 weeks so Bishop Sankey gets the call next week against a great Sweet Drippins team. Also, Andrew (Luck), please dominate from here on out. K, Thx."
Always a treat when those two get a microphone in front of them, or a sub from Capri. Regardless, would not be surprised if both of these struggling squads end up meeting in the playoffs come December.
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| Drew would have been so proud. |
Welp, there you have it. Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing this beast. Loved the quotes, love the passion, love this league. Here's to a great season gentlemen.
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