Week Four Recap: Lonely At The Top

Nearly a third of the regular season in the books and the league is finally starting to fall into place. After a bevvy of trades have rocked the league early on, teams are now able to get a serious look into what to expect for the rest of the year. However, a few owners (Dom) will most likely be looking to conduct a firesale. Be on the look out for more trade offers flying in. I believe this most recent week was the most active in league history.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the trade fiasco that essentially split the league in two for a brief moment. However, I was impressed with the league's ability to show unity and move on from this issue in a civil manner. When the dust cleared, Josh ended up with Cam Newton, Odell Beckham and a loss of his highly-touted depth. Still toting the best lineup in the league, Brian was able to obtain Matt Ryan to pair with Julio Jones and it appears this will be a lethal combination for the rest of the year. Not to be outdone, Dom did in fact commence his fire sale and unloaded a plethora of talent for picks next season. Although it once again brought the league to the brink of destruction, they were able to adjust themselves and establish trade guidelines.

The season enters it's second "quarter/third/some fraction" I guess you could say the desperation stinks for some like a port-a-potty at a Phish tailgate. We've seen fire sales that would make the Florida Marlins question their roster management philosophies and so many draft picks dealt you would think they could saved up and spent at the local gentlemen's club. We see it every year but it's always different teams involved and I find that interesting to see the dynamic shift on an annual basis. 

Finally, I would like to dedicate this post to a certain league member that won't hop off my male anatomy regarding the submission status of said article *cough* (Brian). I realize you enjoy reading them as much as I fancy the pleasure to right them (slips gun inside mouth) but you must realize that this recap is a delicate piece of art (and a real bitch to format). Starting today, I will be accepting resumes for a ghost writer to assist with the upcoming weeks to allow my thoughts and witty humor to be neatly and efficiently spilled out onto this canvas (standard blogging site) like Michaelangelo creating the imagery of the Sistine Chapel. Please spread the word amongst your professional networks because I am looking for the best and brightest to shadow me and put my thoughts into a summary that is deemed fit for this great league. Also, we do not offer college credit and it is not paid. Thanks!

Please send applications to SlushieSundaysHR@hotmail.com

GAME OF THE WEEK

(4-0) TY Beanies - 91.2

(3-1) Brule's Rules - 102.6

Dodging bullets left and right has become Nick's mantra during his fantasy career and he avoided a few more this weekend. While Josh was assembling his Super Team, Nick was laying in the weeds hoping to strike. After a great lead provided by the Colts was nearly squandered, Nick hung around just enough to give himself a chance going into the Monday Night Game. Josh's new prized receiver could not deliver however and Brule's Rules remains at 4-0. This is not uncommon territory for Nick, a few years prior, he had a 6-0 start before he was upset by Brian in the Super Bowl. His team has not reached it's full potential and it has to see more from his wide receivers. Frank Gore has continued to be a rock for his squad and Andrew Luck is surely to give Nick an ulcer watching his games the rest of the year. Hoping to keep the momentum going, he'll face Joe in an attempt to get to 5-0 for the third time in his career. No comment this week from Nick but he wishes Josh all the best going forward (until he beats him again in the Playoffs).

Well the first week with his revamped roster could not have gone worse for Josh. Cam Newton got his skull pulverized and Odell Beckham let a rookie cornerback rent out all the real estate in his head. After such promise, especially to me, for a beatdown, he was held under 100 points and suffered his first loss of the season. Assuming Cam is only out for maybe a game, his team will still be in great shape going forward but this was definitely not the debut Josh was hoping for. Next week, he's going to face Chreeyusz looking to bounce back with a vengeance. Usually a tough out, Chris will be without Russell Wilson and Allen Robinson. Josh will hope to relish the opportunity of keeping his share of the division lead for now. When asked about his rare low-scoring performance, Josh had this to say, "This loss is on the captain, Stephen (Gostkowski, -1 points). A normal game from him would have secured the victory. It's back to the drawing board for next week." I guess that's the risk you take when making a kicker your team's captain.

(2-2) Hogan Knows Best - 111.8
(1-3) Kissing Suzy Kolber - 90.4
Two teams desperately seeking a win but one side the Hulkster in their corner. Staving off a 1-3 start, Will is back to .500 after avoiding a lukewarm Carson Palmer performance (before his brain got scrambled) and an early spark from AJ Green. The RB duo of CJ Anderson and Christine Michael continues to pay dividends. Thankfully, as one Cardinal departs, another one emerges. Breakout candidate John "Smokey" Brown posted another strong performance and can provide a potent Flex option going forward along with Jamison Crowder. Will's running back depth will be tested next week and is in desperate need for a backup QB if Palmer isn't cleared to play. For now, he's taking each week at a time and sending me provocative emojis when I ask for a quote about his bounceback win. Facing a 1-3 Schmeckles squad could have his team thinking playoffs if they can perform to their potential.

One of the wildest trades in league history revolved around Vinnie this week as he tried to deal Odell Beckham for playoff depth. When the dust cleared, he was rewarded with significantly more depth than he could envision. Unfortunately, he was not able to capitalize this week to get back to .500. Jordan Reed continued his dominance but Tevin Coleman and Brandin Cooks had weak performances. Thankfully, Tevin Coleman is already gone from the roster. Bringing in Emmanuel Sanders provides KSK with a legitimate flex option each week. With his roster now in place and Brady set to return, he has his sights on getting back to the playoffs for a third straight season. After another defeat, Vinnie was fairly blunt in his postgame statement, "Had a lot of headlines this week for me. Lotta names involved, lot of opinions. But through all of it there's one take away. I've got two balls and I get deals done. Huge deals. In fact the only thing bigger than the deals I make are my friggin' balls. I think KSK has taken great these past two weeks, putting the organization in a great spot to win some games as we head into the second quarter of the season. Arrow is pointing up, just gotta keep improving each week. Trust the process."

(2-2) Don't F*&k With Mickey Mouse - 162.9
(0-4) U Guys Got Halo 2? - 66
Don't ever give Brian the opportunity to step on your throat (proverbially) because he will take it. Dom was in hopes of his first victory and after trading amongst each other this week, Brian certainly got the most of this trade. Brian, acquiring Matt Ryan to pair with Julio seemed to work out pretty well, combining for over 80 points in an upset win over the Panthers. Not to be outdone, DeMarco Murray continued his great season with another touchdown and Marvin Jones saw a steady diet of targets as Golden Tate continues to disappear from Detroit quicker than economic prosperity. Back to .500, Brian has his sights set on his rival Josh, hoping to avenge his Week 2 loss in the Super Bowl. Next week, he faces Vinnie, who is also facing desperation at 1-3. Perhaps Brian will show some mercy? No, probably not. Here's his reaction to the blowout win. "Daddy's Backkkkk (Heh). With the Best QB, RB, WR combo in the league no one will touch this. There's a reason I'm in the finals every year and it's because I am a fantasy football god. All of your teams should kneel before me. Fuck you all. #MicDrop". In my opinion, the kneeling makes sense on my behalf because if you look at the standings, Brian is beneath me.

Total desperation could not translate into points for Dom. Thankfully, he acquired a pair of high draft picks to offset the sting of defeat. He has already stated that the trading will continue into the season. Some strong pieces are still on his roster and with his sights set on 2017, he will try to play spoiler for the rest of the league. As the week progressed, he made even more moves and although some questioned the deals, he was able to stockpile an arsenal of draft picks that could rival Josh's from this season. However, there is the infamous pink license plate hanging over his head. Currently, he is the odds on favorite to inherit the honor from Aaron so it is in Dom's best interest to continue to compete. The picks look nice but the hot pink license plate holder makes it all turn to shit. All the best for Dom going forward because I don't want that eye-sore in my driveway each day. Who knows, it may force me to actually move out finally. All Dom could do in his weekly quote was deflect the attention from his performance and redirect it on his GM skillz.."Picked up a couple draft picks this week and will continue to do so moving forward...Trust the Process."

(2-2) EBDB BnB - 129.2
(2-2) Team New Year - 99.4
After the defending champ's slow start sent shockwaves through the organization, it appears Dave has finally found his winning ways once again. After the rags to riches story captivated the league, David seems poised to shed the idea of his team being a one-hit wonder. No one has ever repeated in this league (Brian & Nick each reached the finals the year after a title) and he is certainly trying to rewrite history this year. With his squad finally hitting their stride, it could make this year's playoffs the most contested in league history. This week, he pulled out one of his classic maneuvers, opting to not start a defense and once again picked up a victory. His distrust for defenses has burned him in the past but he stuck to his guns and got back to .500. However, based on this week's quote, he may be leaning towards a defensive start..."Just wait until I start a defense." Some serious mind games from David and I wouldn't expect anything less from our defending champ. #ForHarambe

Chris should have known to tangle with Dave and the ghost of Harambe in his corner. Dave channeled the rage of the former Cincinnati primeape (angel) and routed Chris to get back to .500. Each team sits at 2-2 and Chreeyusz's team is looking up. Allen Robinson posted yet another strong game and vintage Russell Wilson was on display against the Jets. The road doesn't get much easier for Chris, as he takes on Josh's potent team with his two best players on bye. Jameis will need an all-time performance to try and keep up with Josh's lineup but Chris seemed to portray an aura of confidence during practice this week. Nothing but respect and admiration for last week's opponent from Chris though, "I lost to a good friend of mine and If I wanted to give someone a win it would be Dave and EBDB BnB." I expect him to say something similar regarding Josh next week...

(2-2) Team RUTHLESS - 96.2
(1-3) Schenectady Schmeckles - 95
Joe got his man back this weekend and his season showed the effect of LeVeon's presence.  A late lead was squandered and almost given away by Eli Manning but Joe was able to hold on. This game went back and forth all night and when Eli hurled an awful pass right into the hands of a Vikings defender, it was dropped. A pick would have put Joe down by 0.8 points and most likely lost him the matchup. Truly divine intervention. Here's what he had to say, "Literally shit my pants when Eli threw the ball right at the defender in the final few minutes. Time to find a new QB for sure."  Which he did, in a matter of days he landed Drew Brees from Dom and is hoping that his lineup will now be complete. Back to 2-2 but now has to deal with the loss of Dez Bryant. Nothing he hasn't handled before. Surprising contributions from Fozzy Whitaker and Seahawks D were able to propel Joe to his second win. LeSean McCoy continued his fantastic season and with Bell's return, should create serious problems for Joe's future opponents. Like me, who plays his next week. SHIT. 

Truly a heartbreaking loss for the Schmeckles in their attempt to get back to .500. A dropped interception could potentially be the reason for another year without the playoffs. However, plenty of weeks to go and he now finally gets to unleash Aaron Rodgers on the rest of the league. With a juicy matchup this week, Chris hopes the tandem of Lacy and Rodgers can propel him to the playoffs like Brady and Edelman once did. When asked about his team's performance, he had this to say, "So damn close. The Schmeckles are shaken by that razor close loss, but that's not going to shake our resolve. No Aaron Rodgers or Lacy this week hurt. But mark my words, the Schmeckles plan on rattling off a streak into the playoffs." This weekend, he'll hope to get back to 2015's winning ways against Will. Should be an evenly matched game. Can Rodgers pull out the win on Monday night after a W was ripped out of Chris' hands this week?

(2-2) Why You Pee On My Car? - 143.6
(3-1) Start The Carr - 118
A massive win for WYPOMC this weekend as Aaron was able to upset the undefeated squad of Cookie to get back to .500. Vintage performances by Roethlisberger and Antonio were enough to put this one out of reach for the stout Vikings Defense. In hopes of starting a much needed win streak, Aaron made a big decision while gambling with draft picks. He acquired Julian Edelman from Dom but the cost was fairly steep. After a 2015 season that was filled with early promise and eventually vanquished by constant injuries, Aaron is going all out for 2016 and hopes to finally get to the Super Bowl. A trio of Antonio Brown, Brandon Marshall and Edelman should strike the fear into any opponent at this point. This week, he takes on Dom in and hopes to take advantage of a bombed-out, depleted roster simply looking for picks. Dom will pull out all the stops to prevent the dreaded 0-5 start but Aaron has a nice cushion with a strong game from Carlos Hyde. Will he sacrifice a potential Jets loss for a Pittsburgh offensive outburst? It appears he may have no choice. Regardless, here's what Aaron had to say about the win. "Big Week for Peein' On Cars. It's about time the Steelers showed up and put up some numbers. We're back .500, time to ride the wave."

The undefeated dream is over for Benny Football but don't hang your head Cookie, you had a great run. Ben got everything he could imagine out of DeAngelo Williams with three huge victories and is now looking for someone to fill the gap. Now, with the guidance of Derek Carr, he hopes to get his foot on the pedal (Carr punz) to creep towards yet another playoff berth. Last season, he was uncharacteristically absent from the postseason and will do anything he can to get back. He is currently, desperately in the market for a running back as well and it could be the key to solidifying a potent playoff roster. However, he must prevent this loss from snowballing into a legitimate losing streak. He hosts a potent team in EBDB BnB and is currently a sizable underdog. That being said, point spreads have certainly not stopped Ben in the past. A win allows him to keep pace with Josh for the division lead as well. Here's what Ben had to say after suffering his first L, "Put up a solid fight this week. After a minor setback I'm confident the squad will be scrapping like hell to get a win in the weeks going forward. It won't be easy but I have confidence in each roster spot to get the job done."