WILL GAVIN'S SEXY SIX-PACK PICKS: WEEK FOUR EDITION

Another rough week for Will on Sunday, let's hope he can bounce back this weekend (unless he picked against your team).

Record YTD: 6-12

Last Week: 1-5

Hogan Knows Best Vs. Kissing Suzy Kolber

Winner:  Kissing Suzy Kolber

​Lots of discussion this week finally led to a blockbuster trade that sent Vinnie's most potent offensive weapon in OBJ in exchange for some serious roster depth. Stafford has a nice matchup against Chicago this week for Vin, and Will’s Christine Michael can’t turn in a repeat performance against the Jets. 

Don’t Fuck With Mickey Mouse Vs. U Guys Got Halo 2?

Winner: Don’t Fuck with Mickey Mouse

​Brian’s roster is riddled with Questionable status players, but he’s got plenty of depth to deal with that (A bench that boasts Jordan Howard, Marvin Jones, and Steve Smith (who I dropped..) must be nice). Dom is thin at running back, and Peterson does not sound like he will be a contributor this season, leaving Dom in a tough spot.

 ​

Team Ruthless Vs. Sch’dy Schmeckles:

Winner: Sch’dy Schmeckles

​Le’veon Bell is back. Unfortunately, Eli is running into the Minnesota D this week, which has looked unstoppable. Chris has Aaron Rodgers and Eddie Lacy on Bye, but still looks to have a starting lineup that is capable of scoring some big points. 

Brule’s Rules Vs. TY Beanies

Winner: TY Beanies

​Nick's trio of Colts exploits the Jags defense but Josh’s roster is just too powerful at this point to drop a game. He continues to roll, and has the highest scoring team of the week.

EBDB BnD Vs. Team New Year

Winner: EBDB BnD

​Kelvin Benjamin and Deandre Hopkins are the beneficiary of good matchups this week (against Atlanta and Tennessee) and both have nice weeks. Jameis plays the Denver defense and the Chiefs D plays the Pittsburgh offense for Chris, bringing his team back to earth. 

Start the Carr Vs. Why You Pee on My Car

Winner:  Start The Carr

​Throw projections out the window, because Ben has proved ESPN wrong in 3 straight weeks now. Deangelo Williams looks to be relegated to the bench now that Bell is active, although Ben does get Jamaal Charles back soon, who he hopes will return to full form. Brandon Marshall goes up against the Seahawks secondary, and Aaron has a hard time filling his RB2 spot. 

Week Three Recap: Who's Elite?

After three weeks, it is now the appropriate time to panic. But let's not get hung up on all that negativity, there are other teams to focus on. For example, the upstart squad led by Ben Fontana who rolled over Team Ruthless to grab his third win of the season. Is Ben's team #Elite? Who knows but it's hard to make an argument against it right now. As the season power's forward, owner's patience will certainly be tested with injuries and underperforming players but by now, everyone in this league knows you can't take your foot off the gas for one second. Expect some trade winds brewing in the coming days as well. Desperate times call for desperate measures (and draft picks). 

Winning your first three games are essentially an early invitation to the playoffs. Knock on wood. Josh, Nick and Ben are the only remaining unbeatens and after knocking off Brian in impressive fashion, TY Beanies have their sights set on the ultimate prize already. However, there are strong teams lurking below them. Last year's Super Bowl participants each sit at 1-2 to start the year, as do the 3rd and 4th place finishers. Rosters are finally starting to take shape and an uptick in scoring should commence. As for Dom, sitting at 0-3, welp I'm too lazy to look back at the record books but if I could venture a guess, no one has ever came back from 0-4 to make the playoffs. Treat this one like a must-win game, and if you weren't treating every game like a must-win game, then you're setting yourself up to fail.

GAME OF THE WEEK:

(1-2) Dirty Birds - 102.3

(3-0) TY Beanies - 123.3

This team is legit. All that needs to be said. With a potential Super Bowl preview on our hands, Josh handled his business once again sealing his third straight victory with a strong game from Drew Brees. As mentioned before, the extra draft picks have provided unbelievable depth at the skill positions and it will only improve from here. Ezekiel Elliott's strong performance paired nicely with David Johnson, creating the most formidable running back duos in the league. Throw in Melvin Gordon, Gio Bernard, Jeremy Hill and Tevin Coleman and you have serious problem. And if Josh's receivers looked thin, don't worry, Josh Gordon is set to return soon as well. When asked about the win, Josh was noticeably excited, stating "This one's for the boys. Couldn't be happier for our performance but don't think we are content where we are. We're currently looking for improvements in certain areas and might look to bolster an even stronger side against undefeated heavyweight Brule's Rule next week. But for now, we will celebrate this great win." As mentioned, Nick comes to town next week undefeated (not to brag) and looks to dethrone the #1 team.

"Champions don't panic, they adjust and that's what I plan to do." Just to clear things up, Brian is not panicked. Not stunned, not disappointed, just hungry. After two tough losses on Monday night this season already, he is sitting at 1-2 but has plenty to be encouraged by. Julio Jones laid an egg last night but potential steal of the draft Marvin Jones went off for over 200 yards to lead his team this week. DeMarco Murray and Lamar Miller continued their hot starts and with Gronk coming back, people should be worried to play Brian later on. This week, he'll hope to bounce back against Dom as a heavy favorite. Dom's playoff hopes lay in the balance and one would expect Brian doing everything he can to crush them. 

(3-0) Start The Carr - 101
(1-2) Team Ruthless - 96.7
Never count out the underdog. Ben has been rolling thus far in 2016 and the magical season continued after squeaking out a win against Team Ruthless. DeAngelo Williams has finally fell back to earth (and eventually, second on the depth chart) but the role players on Start the Carr picked up the slack. Worth noting that Vikings D has been the highest scorer for Ben's team twice already. Perhaps a potential keeper? Derek Carr continues to steer Ben towards a sought after playoff berth while Jamaal Charles is lying in the weeds as well. The one issue with Ben's roster is the lack of serviceable wideouts. Phillip Dorsett was summoned to start instead of Donte Moncrief and he hopes Davante Parker can continue his early success to compliment Demaryius Thomas. Regardless, he's navigated the waters so far and has his sights set on the tough road ahead. "Fantastic start to the season but now the real test begins. With DeAngelo moving down to 2nd string, I'm going to need to prove Start the Carr was more than a flash in the pan. Can't get ahead of ourselves. Running into the wood chipper of Aaron, Dave and Nick the next three weeks will truly be a litmus test for how my season pans out."

Not the start that Joe envisioned without LeVeon but at least he snagged a win. With his franchise back set to return this week, it gives him team a much needed shot of life. Usually a high scoring squad, Team RUTHLESS hasn't cracked 105 points in a week this season. Randall Cobb has been useless, Dez Bryant is banged up once again after two straight double-digit weeks and Eli Manning let two juicy matchups slip right through his hands. McCoy and Evans need all the help they can get with Bell's return. A Delanie Walker injury proved to be the difference in this week's matchup as Jared Cook could only muster two points in his place. Once healthy and not smoking dope this team should be able to run with anyone but for now, they have to worry about falling to 1-3 against an upstart Schmeckles roster. Thankfully Aaron Rodgers will be on bye, as will Randall Cobb, for Joe's sake. "Obviously disappointed losing by a handful of points but super excited to finally get the squad to 100% next week."

(1-2) EBDB BnB - 106.4
(1-2) Why You Pee On My Car? - 85.2

Desperate times in Dolan Drive (unless you're Nick and Chris). With two of the league's biggest surprises from last season crashing back down to earth, EBDB BnB needed to buckle down and take care of Aaron for his first win. An extremely rare zero for Kelvin Benjamin nearly derailed the 2016 Harambe Victory Tour but the keepers for EBDB BnB stood out this weekend. Todd Gurley got back on track with two scores and Devonta Freeman balled out with 30 points, hoping to recapture his 2015 form. Dave has experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows in his fantasy career. After winning it all, he's going to need to keep his team motivated to get back to the promised land. A resurgence to 2015 form for Devonta Freeman will certainly help. If Blake Bortles bounces back next week, he should be able to take care of Chris to get back to .500. When asked about the relief of getting the first W, Dave told me, "Only takes a spark to start a fire." Wisdom beyond his years.

Has the bad luck begun again for Aaron? After a massive opening victory, he's struggled heavily falling back to 1-2. Shockingly, Mike Wallace was not the answer this week at the flex and the usual starter, Emmanuel Sanders scored enough to win Aaron the matchup. Jeremy Langford is out for multiple weeks and with an already thin running back core, it might be time for Aaron to make a move. Will it finally be the time where he let's go of his prized possession Antonio Brown? Probably not (Sorry, Josh). But, something must be done in order to avoid slipping any further. Brandon Marshall struggled once again but Carlos Hyde and an expected performance from Jimmy Graham were nice surprises. Next week, Why You Pee On My Car faces Start the Carr with Aaron generously favored. Can his power duo of Ben and Antonio come through on Sunday night?

(2-1) Team New Year - 142.2
(1-2) Hogan Knows Best - 88.3
You can never count out the young gun. Each season it appears as though his regular season success will wear off but Chreeyusz continues to be a tough out each weekend. Finally making the full switch to Jameis Winston this week led to a blowout against his rival, Will Gavin and of course, 35-points from the Chiefs defense in yesterday's FitzTragedy always helps as well. Not to be outdone, keepers Allen Robinson finally got back on track while Jarvis Landry proves he is one of the most consistent players in the league. With an injury to Russell Wilson, the Jameis Show could continue and it seems as though this is what Chreeyusz was hoping for. When asked about his team Chris was rather candid, "I want to thank Fitzpatrick for being so bad this week and I want to thank Will's team for also being so bad..but overall a good week for my two star WR's and my team." No love lost in the rival, that's for sure. Chris looks to keep it going next week against Dave, who is desperately trying to get his second win.

Contrary to popular belief, Hogan did NOT know best this weekend in his rivalry game against Chris. One of the deepest, spiteful rivalries in land, it was over before Will could get his footing. AJ Green was relatively held in check by Denver and an abysmal performance by Carson Palmer was the icing on the cake. Sitting at 1-2, Will needs to re-evaluate his roster before Week 4 begins to avoid the danger zone of 1-3. He was quoted after the loss, telling us "My team just didn't get it done this week. Starting to worry about our future if we can't even step up for a rivalry game...Need to take a long hard look in the mirror at this organization's strategy." A rivalry loss is one thing, but a blowout can really mess with your psyche moving forward. Let's hope Will has some leftover pills lying around the Pharmacy to take the edge off.

(3-0) Brule's Rules - 122.7
(1-2) Kissing Suzy Kolber - 118.1
A late Mark Ingram touchdown would've been crippling to Brule's Rules after a frantic final drive by Andrew Luck put Nick's team ahead by 30. With his team's success riding heavily on the Colts offense, it's going to be a stressful ride. Regardless, 3-0 is 3-0 and I ain't complaining. Brule's Rules has shown the ability to put up points thus far with depleted backs and their stable of top receivers. Jordy Nelson appears to have shaken off the rust, complimenting new additions TY Hilton, Larry Fitzgerald and Doug Baldwin nicely. Andrew Luck was once again erratic but delivered a beautiful strike to Hilton when it was needed the most, proving to be the difference. After a down to the wire matchup, Nick was quick to acknowledge his team's resiliency. "Really proud of the MEN in that locker room. Most would have folded but this is a special bunch. What we lack in flash and pizzazz is overcompensated with heart and determination. You can't coach that. We must ensure that the intensity carries over into next week because it will be a street fight." 

Another heartbreak caused by the Jets for Vinnie unfortunately. Losing my single-digits with Decker and Forte combining for 11 point was a demoralizing end to the weekend. A valiant effort by Mark Ingram and Matt Stafford came up short dropping him to 1-2. Since dealing Rodgers, he must wait another week to finally unleash Brady, relying on Stafford to get him back to .500. Thankfully for KSK, OBJ has yet to find the endzone and we know touchdowns are inevitable. However, when Charles Sims goes back to his usual role, where can Vinnie find a suitable flex option to round out his lineup? Will another trade be imminent assuming Martellus Bennett becomes the obvious second fiddle to Gronk? Who knows, but a win this week will silence the troubles for the time being. When asked his team's performance, he had this to say, "This was a moral victory. I'm kidding, there's no such thing as a moral victory Those people are losers, and that's what KSK was this week, a loser. We put up some points, liked what I saw in a few spots. We've still got a long way to go. Hats off to Papa Cox, he knows how to win in this league." Compliments are certainly appreciated in future quotes.

(1-2) Schenectady Schmeckles - 148.9
(0-3) You Guys Got Halo 2? - 70.5
The backs of both owners were against the wall in this Week 3 matchup, desperately tying to avoid another 0-3 start, the Fighting Schmeckles pulled out a win for Chris Casey. The gigantic news this week was the trade with Vinnie that dealt his beloved Tom Brady for Aaron Rodgers. In win now mode, Chris could've started anyone in this matchup at QB to still get the W but Rodgers had a fantastic debut performance. Unfortunately, he'll be on bye next week against a hungry Team Ruthless and will look to Kirk Cousins to get him back to even. Still some work to be done to get in playoff position but the pressure has been slightly alleviated for now. In regards to win, Chris had this to say, "The Schmeckles are finally running on all cylinders this week after a slow start. The addition of Rodgers has proved to be big already and Blount is getting a lot of touches and the most of them. We certainly hope we can keep up this pace going forward." Chris will have his work cut out for him against Joe and Team Ruthless.

"I suck." This is all that needed to be said after an embarrassing blowout loss for Dom. Starting 0-3 after a miraculous 2015 season was not how anyone envisioned the year beginning. Plenty of time left to right the ship but the panic has already set in with the front office. As usual, expect a majority of Dom's players to be available for trade by days end. The pink license plate holder should serve as a reminder to take nothing for granted. Dom is in prime position to take it as his team remains the only winless squad in the league. However, there are some talented players on the roster but will they be there when the year is over? Unfortunately the road doesn't get any easier against Brian next week. Fresh off a loss himself, you know Brian will be out for blood to potentially put Dom out of his misery for the season.

WILL GAVIN'S SEXY SIX-PACK PICKS: WEEK THREE EDITION

Week 3 Picks

Rough week last week going 1-5 boys. Yikes. Here’s to bigger and better things.

Record YTD: 5-7

Last Week: 1-5

Kissing Suzy Kolber (1-1) vs. Brule’s Rules (2-0)

Winner:  Kissing Suzy Kolber

​Odell Beckham Jr. has been uncharacteristically quiet to start the season. That changes in this matchup against Josh Norman where he snags 2 TD’s. The Colts offense is surprisingly quiet against the Chargers for Nick.

EBDB BnB (0-2) Vs. Why You Pee on My Car? (1-1)

Winner:  EBDB BnB

​With the exception of the QB spot, Dave still has a roster worth fearing from week to week, and he proves that this week despite his 0-2 start. Aaron’s team will ebb and flow with the Steelers offensive success this year. They play well this week, but Dave’s team plays better.

Team New Year (1-1) vs. Hogan Knows Best (1-1)

Winner:  Hogan Knows Best

​One of the great rivalries in all of Slushie Sundays takes place this week as Will and Chris duel it out with fire in their blood, both desperate to improve to 2-1, and lead their middle of the road squads towards the playoffs. Carson Palmer shreds up the Bills secondary while Jameis has a consecutive rough week. Suck it Chreeyusz.

TY Beanies (2-0) vs. Dirty Birds (1-1)

Winner:  Dirty Birds

​Josh has all the hype this year. It’s no surprise considering his roster looks like a starting pro bowl squad. But Brian has dominated this league for far too long to be intimidated by any team. For 5+ years Brian has consistently performed in this league, putting up numbers no other owner can touch. I know how much it hurts to read this. It hurts me to write it. Brian takes down Josh in the highest scoring game of the week. 

Start The Carr (2-0) vs. Team Ruthless (101)

Winner:  Team Ruthless

​I don’t think anyone saw the young pup Ben Fontana’s team starting 2-0. I predicted he’d slow down last week, but apparently I was a week too soon. The Vikings D meets up with the Panthers and underwhelms. Deangelo Williams can’t play like this forever, right? Randall Cobb and Dez Bryant flex their fantasy muscles, and Eli rebounds this week as Joe wins. 

U Guys Got Halo 2 (0-2) vs. Sch’dy Schmeckles (0-2)

Winner:  U Guys Got Halo 2?

​2 solid teams that are 0-2 to start the year and risk falling to 0-3. Dom’s desperation is obvious given his offer to put his entire team on the trading block. Will Fuller continues to impress and Amari Cooper scores 25 to help Dom win. 

Week Two Recap: Super Bowl Rematch

Ahh, the annual Slushie Sundays Super Bowl Rematch. Seems to never disappoint with each passing year. This season, it was full of plenty fireworks after a rather dull Week 2 around the NFL. Two titans of the league with two separate paths of achieving fantasy stardom. Dave, the young startup who slayed Goliath last season to reach the pinnacle of fantasy sports achievements while the Goliath (Brian), has been a mainstay for years in the Super Bowl. In an act of revenge, Brian was able to reclaim some glory lost last season and is now sitting pretty in hopes of his third title. The one team seemingly standing in his way right now? Josh. Putting up another strong performance against, these two will coincidentally square off next weekend for what seems to be a potential Super Bowl preview. 

As for the other teams 2-0, they may come as a surprise. After a poor performance in last year's draft, Nick has rebounded with a strong squad led by his band of receivers. In addition, there's Ben, the biggest surprise of the young season. With his polarizing selection of DeAngelo Williams starting off the season, he has silenced his doubters with impressive wins in consecutive weeks to start undefeated as well. Ben, usually a mainstay in the playoffs, missed out last season after an injury plagued year and is desperate to get back. 

Next weekend is a "shit or get off the pot" type of weekend for teams starting 0-2. Amongst the three, Dom and Dave were powerhouses last season but the slow start could simply be an aberration. As for Chris Casey, in his third season in the league, he had a fantastic improvement in his Sophomore season but without Brady penciled in as usual, he's looking at starting 0-3 with Dom next on the docket. Regardless of the records thus far, the season is finally back in full swing and although two teams currently represent the top tier, there are plenty of contenders laying in the weeds. Injuries, as always, will test the willpower of any owner and their ability to manage a roster becomes crucial.

GAME OF THE WEEK:

(1-1) EBDB BnB - 137.7

(2-0) Dirty Birds - 117.3

After a tough opening week loss to Aaron, Brian had nothing but optimism for his team. He was perfectly correct with his confidence. The combination of Lamar Miller, Latavius Murray and DeMarco Murray has laid the foundation for one of the most potent offenses in the league. Philip Rivers was the stud for Week 2 but it was a surprise Sunday morning pickup that made all the difference for Brian. Subbing in Jacob Tamme before the day began provided an extra 16 points. Last week, he was done-in by a late TE substitution at the hands of Aaron but he would not be denied this week. As Gronk is set to come back soon, there is not many flaws exposed on the Dirty Birds roster. Marvin Jones didn't appear to be a strong #2 receiver after draft night but he has certainly shouldered the load thus far. Next week, the biggest matchup of the season is upon him. Squaring off against TY Beanies in what looks to be the odds-on favorite for a Super Bowl matchup down the road. Brian in his weekly quote, wanted to put the league on notice:

"It's very unfortunate that one of us had to start the season off 0-2 after both of us made the championship last year. If people weren't afraid of my team before this week they should be now."

Not an ideal team to face in hopes of your first win but Dave was up for the task. Unfortunately, his running backs weren't. Strong performances from Greg Olsen, DeAndre Hopkins and Kelvin Benjamin simply weren't enough to offset the struggles of Todd Gurley and DeVonta Freeman. Don't let his quote fool you, the team is still a playoff team on paper and have yet to run into any serious injuries. Blake Bortles squandered a favorable matchup and Todd Gurley faced a pair of stout run defenses thus far. Gurley and Freeman were the bedrock of Dave's team's foundation last season and will remain this way for years to come. Next week, he takes on Aaron in search of his first win. An 0-2 start won't kill you, but the chances of playoffs start to seriously dwindle once you reach 0-3. Dave was brief in his answer when asked to give a statement regarding his team's unusual 0-2 start:

"We're fucking doomed. Harambe's spinning in his grave watching this travesty."

WILL GAVIN'S SEXY SIX-PACK OF PICKS: WEEK TWO EDITION

After his inaugural season of selections was universally received, Big Willie Style is back in 2016 making his expert predictions with his "Sexy 6-Pack" (featured above).

Week 2 Picks

Record YTD: 4-2

Last Week: 4-2

Hogan Knows Best (1-0) Vs. TY Beanies (1-0)

Winner: Hogan Knows Best

​Week 1 proved that Josh has a team that is capable of big things this year. His squad is the early favorite towards the title, but they take a step back this week, and Will gets big points out of an Arizona Cardinals duo hungry to avenge their loss to the Pats. Carson Palmer and John Brown combine to score 50+ to win it for Will.

Kissing Suzy Kolber (0-1) Vs. U Guys Got Halo 2? (0-1)

Winner: U Guys Got Halo 2

​This one could go either way honestly, but I think Vinnie gets limited production out of Matt Forte and Eric Decker on Thursday against a Buffalo defense that looked stout against the Ravens last week. Dom’s squad has a vivid memory of last year’s (Fantasy?) playoffs, and Cam Newton refuses to let that happen again.

Brules Rules (1-0) Vs. Why You Pee on My Car? (1-0)

Winner: Why You Pee on My Car?

​A matchup against Denver for Nick’s highest scoring player (Andy Luck) tips this one in Aarons favor. A nice turnout from Emmanuel Sanders this week on a long touchdown is the difference for Aaron when all is said and done.

Dirty Birds (0-1) Vs. EBDB BnB (0-1)

Winner: EBDB BnD

​Brian learns that you can’t trust the Tennessee offense. Philip Rivers and Blake Bortles take place in a shootout and Bortles gets the better fantasy day while the Chargers get the win. 

Team Ruthless (0-1) Vs. Team New Year (1-0)

Winner: Team Ruthless

​Derrick Henry gets an increased workload and Dez Bryant has nowhere to go but up after a disappointing week 1. Worth noting is that Joes team scored 100+ points last week despite getting just 6.7 points from Henry and Bryant, without a monster day from anyone else, showing Joes team has some depth. Russell Wilson has a quiet game as he recovers from an injured ankle, and Seattle’s running game gets the bulk of the offense. 

Sch’dy Schmeckles (0-1) Vs. Start the Carr (1-0)

Winner: Sch’dy Schmeckles

​Ben came storming out of the gates last week, scoring 146 points, and proving Dom’s post draft smack-talk wrong. Unfortunately, I just don’t see it happening again this week. The Vikings D and Spencer Ware come back to earth. Chris gets nice games out of Travis Benjamin and Mark Ingram to win it.

Week One Recap: WE BACK!

It'sssssss timeeeeee! After an exciting Thursday game, the fantasy owners and football fans were #blessed with an intense slate of games on the Opening Sunday. As a fan, can't ask for much more but seeing injuries to someone like Keenan Allen makes you cringe (sorry, Vinnie). Not as much excitement a we would have hoped for in the opening week (unless you're Aaron) for the Slushie Sundays matchups but it was entertaining nonetheless. Can't really overreact this early in the season but just you wait until next week when a few teams are 0-2 and the trade talks heat up faster than a junkie's spoon. Without further (Freddy) adieu, let's look back at the week that was...

WILL GAVIN'S SEXY SIX-PACK OF PICKS: WEEK ONE EDITION

After his inaugural season of selections was universally received by all, Big Willie Style is back in 2016 making his expert predictions with his "Sexy 6-Pack" (featured above). Expect this to once again be a weekly occurrence as we track Will's progress throughout the season. In addition to a weekly preview from Will, expect some additional Slushie Sundays content up our sleeves as well.

Week 1 Picks

Record YTD: 0-0

Last Week: Offseason, Ya Dingus

U Guys Got Halo 2? (Dom) Vs. Brule's Rules (Nick)

Winner: Brule's Rules

​Nick is happy to have Andrew Luck back in his line-up, and so is TY Hilton as they put up big points against the Lions. Adrian Peterson gets plenty of touches, and Cam scores at least twice, but it’s not enough to give Dom the W over his brother. 

EBDB BnB (Sweedae) Vs. Hogan Knows Best (Will)

Winner: EBDB BnB

​Strong performances from running backs and Deandre Hopkins give Dave the edge while his dual tight ends don’t product like he is hoping. Will gets less than 20 points from the RB position while the rest of his team keeps it close (hopefully..)

Start the Carr (Cookies) Vs. Kissing Suzy Kolber (Vinnie)

Winner: Start the Carr

​Vinnie appears to have drafted well again, as he looks to have one of the stronger starting line-ups in the league. However, Ben wins this one because of favorable matchups for his running backs (who square off against the Redskins, Chargers, and Browns). He also gets an early nomination for corniest team name of the year.

Team New Year (Chreeeyusz) Vs. Sch’dy Schmeckles (Chris)

Winner: Team New Year

​Kirk Cousins throws for 3 touchdowns but the rest of the Schmeckles fall flat this week. Chreeyusz gets steady contributions from his whole team, as well as a big game from Golden Tate.

Big Hug, Little Hit (Juice) Vs. TY Beanies (Mommy Slut)

Winner: TY Beanies

​Josh is the recipient of a strong draft, and a very good week 1, as his team looks potentially fearsome top to bottom to start the season. Shady scores on the ground and by reception while I sing the Buffalo Shout song in my living room, and Joe scores 120+, but it’s not enough.

Dirty Birds (Heh) Vs. Why You Pee on My Car? (Aaron)

Winner: Dirty Birds

Lack of production from the Murray’s at running back are made up for by good weeks from the Jones’s at WR and Philip Rivers for Brian. For Aaron, Antonio Brown faces off against Josh Norman and is held relatively in check (as much as Antonio Brown can be, that is.)

2016 Introductory Post - Season 6: The Great Chase

WE'RE BACK BABAY! After another successful (and time efficient) Slushie Sundays draft, there is not any time to waste before the start of the season. Knowing me, I'll probably post this Friday afternoon out of laziness so I'm assuming the Panthers have taken care of the Broncos in Thursday's opening game. Besides the point. I just want to say welcome back to all of my dear league mates who I've missed competing against for the better part of 9 months. As we commence our 6th season, I would like to look back at last season and the road that got us to this present time.

Gurley 2016: Can Todd and Co. propel Dave to a repeat?

Although the trophy is not physically in his possession, incumbent champion David Troiano has been on cloud nine since taking home his first title last Winter. With a bevy of young talent, he is poised to defend his throne once again in 2016. Brian, resistant to give up the trophy (literally and figuratively) is hot on his heels with a dynamite trio of keepers of his own. Can he get back to the Super Bowl for an unprecedented 4th season in a row?

Don't let these two paragraphs fool you, there are 10 other strapping young men coveting the ultimate prize in fantasy sports. Of those 10, only two have ever held the trophy on their own (technically, just Nick since Josh never got a chance to hold it during his reign as champion) and with a rags to riches success story of Taco Corp fresh in everyone's minds, is it time for another changing of the guard from the Hateful (Spiteful, Vengeful, etc.) Eight? This band of unlikely heroes have flirted with glory in the past and are cautiously optimistic about their team's potential regarding their chances. Trades have been made this offseason to align teams in better position for this season and it is a trend I hope continues for the rest of the season.

I was fortunate enough to speak with a few of these owners and let's just say they didn't hold back when referring to their title aspirations and desire for Slushie Sunday immortality.

Ben Fontana, a main-stay in the SSFL playoffs in his career, experienced a major setback in 2015 after his franchise player, Peyton Manning decided to hang up his cleats. Unfortunately for Ben, he physically checked out in Week 5 and the Cookie Man could not recover. Now after staring two straight playoff-less seasons in the face after a critically panned draft, improvement and hard work has been the motto he has instilled on his team.

"I feel like Jeff Fisher going into this season. Mediocrity is almost a foregone conclusion for Start The Carr. The goal, as always, is to scrap through the regular season and make the playoffs. I'm desperate for a Slushie Sundays FFL title, but taking it one goal at a time this season." 

 From one team uncharacteristically missing the playoffs to another team finally getting over the hump, Dom Caputo finally got to the promised land in 2015 after three long years without a playoff berth. Unfortunately, the passports were seized upon arrival as he fell victim to a shocking upset from Vinnie Crocitto, ending his dream season after winning his respective division. This season, he boasts one of the strongest groups of keepers and hopes to recapture the magic of the 2015 season like his franchise QB, Cam Newton. Dom could not be reached for comment at this point but hopefully more quotes from him this season.

The final owner I touched base with was Mr. Joey Begami, a seasoned veteran in the league who has dealt with more heartache from fantasy than any other owner. Consistently, Bergami puts out an impressive product each season and has yet to taste the glory of a title. In fact, he's never made a Super Bowl appearance after years of get drafting and team management. Perhaps this is the year? When asked about his chances, as usual, Joe did not mince words regarding his team's outlook:

"Slushie Sunday 2017 champion. That's what we're all fighting for this year. I have made these god damn playoffs EVERY YEAR (along with my brother in crime) but still nothing to show for it. I was very confident in my teams the past 2 years and failed to come up with a ring. What's even worse is I never made it to a championship match. Cockiness is definitely lower this year but hard work, dedication and lots of prayer to the big man upstairs will hopefully be enough to push us to the ship. A new game plan and attitude calls for a change in name. RUTHLESS"

Although I was only able to speak with a few owners, I would be damned if the rest of the league didn't possess the same passion and optimism as Joe this season. Of course, this was a short article compared to the future weekly write-ups and you can bet they will be filled with insight, comedy, electric quotes and analysis. The season has officially begun and on behalf of the commissioner's office, I would like to wish every one of you the best of luck this season. A league this entertaining cannot survive without each member and as usual, I would like to thank you all for making this league so great each season. I can honestly say this is the one thing I look forward to each week during football season to take my mind off the work grind and the Raiders attempts to slowly kill me. Let's have another exciting year and maybe we'll have someone else in the league pop their trophy-possessing cherry again come Winter.

God Bless,
Nicholas J. Caputo
President/CEO Slushie Sunday Fantasy Football Incorporated