Week 1 Recap: Early Statements Made

Cold Blooded: Matty Ice torched the Saints to lead Beats By Ray to a Week One W.

Largest Margin of Victory: Kissing Suzy Kolber over The Nard Dawgs - 54.7 

Most Points Scored: Two Cups, One Josh - 135.9 Points 

Least Points Scored: The DrewBree Brothers - 72.7 

Unsung Hero of the Week: Matt Ryan - 37.4 Points

Biggest Fantasy Duds: Victor Cruz, Jordan Reed, Jamaal Charles

Best Waiver Pickup: Delanie Walker (Kissing Suzy Kolber) - 11.2 Points

What a start to the 2014 Slushie Sundays season. We had a wide variety of parity in the 6 week one matchups, starting with the major upset that came at the expense of Aaron Pommer's squad, The DrewBree Brothers. Team SSPD (Dom) played with heavy hearts as their fallen brother, Ray Rice was officially cut from the Ravens, hours before the Monday night games. Holding a six-point lead with no players remaining, the DrewBree Brothers looked to come from behind for their first win on the back of Victor Cruz. Late in the game, Cruz, who was quiet all night, dropped a potential clinching grab on the right sideline. Presumably, the salsa residue must've been the cause. Thus, the last chance for Aaron to avoid the upset and with the win, Team SSPD avenges last year's opening week loss to Aaron to give Dom the best start to the season of his career (1-0). 

Team SSPD takes on Beat Joe (Josh) to extend their winning streak to a robust 2 games, which would also be a franchise record. For Aaron, he made a interesting move during the Giants-Lions game, announcing that he had recently joined forces with the professor himself, Drew Fahrenz, 2-time Toilet Bowl Champion. One can only assume that Gigglepepper's track record had effected The DooBrees Brothers chances this week. 

The upset was the most intense but the top performer of the week resided on Beats By Ray (Brian). After an extremely controversial draft, where he insisted that he had the best squad for yet another season, Brian had to back up his picks with a strong performance in Week One. Some thought stockpiling the Falcons' offensive weapons would be foolish but HEH knew exactly what he was doing this week. Matty Ice (pictured above, if you weren't aware) led the Falcons and Beats By Ray to an opening week upset of the Saints and Team Chreeyusz, respectively. Throwing for a franchise record 448 yards and 3 scores, Ryan propelled Brian over Chris despite a poor performance from his prized possession, Jamaal Charles. Chreeyusz made a valiant comeback but the Falcons were simply too much to overcome. Brian looks to move to 2-0 next week as he butts heads with Shooter McGavin (Nick) in a Super Bowl rematch from last season. Will Andy Dalton make a surprise appearance? 

Ryan Mathews departs from last year's championship team, will he energize Team SSPD?

Speaking of the defending champ, Shooter McGavin was on the ropes for the entire weekend against newcomer, Chris Casey in his first week as owner of the Schenectady Schmeckles. Chris led for the majority of the weekend but it was the night games that got the defending champ back into it. Faced with a difficult decision on whether to start an injured Andre Ellington or Ryan Mathews, Shooter went with his instincts and it once again paid dividends. Spurred by late touchdowns from Ryan Mathews and Joique Bell, Nick would keep his winning ways going with an opening week win, pushing his winning streak to 4 games dating back to last year's playoffs. Chris came up short due to poor play from one Philip Rivers but will look to get back on track next in hopes of earning his first win. 

The other member making his debut, Kissing Suzy Kolber (Vinnie) rolled in his first career matchup against The Nard Dawgs (Will). This one wasn't close from the start as Vinnie rolled to his first career victory. Leading the charge were keepers Megatron and Matt Forte as they cruised to a lopsided victory margin of 50 points. Sorry Will. Will looks to bounce back in Week 2 against the Schmeckles. As for Vinnie, he takes on Team Chreeyusz which looks to be an interesting matchup. It will be tough for Vinnie as he may have to root for Aaron Rodgers against his beloved Jets. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure Geno Smith is still available on waivers. 

The final two matchups also involved intruging storylines, as it was a matchup of last year's 3rd place game as Marty Scorecrazy took on Beat Joe. Ben got off to a hot start with solid performances from CJ?K and Percy Harvin. Once the Sunday Night game rolled around, Cookies looked to step on Mommy Slut's throat with Peyton, Demaryius and Keenan Allen still remaining. Manning threw 3 early touchdowns but in a twist of fate, they all landed in the hands of Julius Thomas, the starting tight end for Beat Joe. As Stafford pounded the Giants on Monday, Josh sealed a Week One victory. It doesn't get easier for Cookies, as he faces Joe, the highest scoring team in the league. 

We round out the recap with the highest scoring team in the League, Two Cups One Josh. Joe reaped the benefits of having extra picks and crafted a dyanmic team that looks to be the consensus for best team in the league through one week. Obviously, alot can happen throughout the season but I pray for those who have to take on Joe each passing week. Dave was the first to take a crack at Joe and in a bold move, opted to not play a defense. Although he held on for a few hours, Dave couldn't withstand the onslaught of Two Cups One Josh.