Week 3 Recap: And Then There Was Two

The league is starting to come to fruition after the first three weeks. Two undefeated teams remain while two squads are winless. Brian looks as unstoppable as ever there was a defending champ and Dom continues to impress with a third straight win (playoffs?!?). One of the biggest scoring weeks in recent history had nearly every team reach triple digits, except of course yours truly. The Monday night game did not do some any favors either. Both Will and Vinnie lost on what looked to be wins that were in hand due to Randall Cobb and Jeremy Maclin. 

League heavyweights and roommates Josh and Joe each earned their first wins after completing their blockbuster trade while Aaron and Will each lost heartbreakers due to their nearly acquired players each suffering injuries. What a week it was. There is a logjam of 1-2 teams right and 5 of them were playoff teams last season. Aaron, Dom, Dave and Chris each have at least two wins and as I predicted once again, there is a legitimate shift in the power structure in this league. 

GAME OF THE WEEK:

Taco Corp - 195.6

Date Rape Bill Crosby - 144.7

This was the one we were waiting for people. Too bad this couldn't come later in the season and both were still undefeated but we've got it now. After days of speculation as to how either team would fare in this heavyweight matchup, it did not disappoint. Both teams traded blows to start the matchup with Joseph Randle and Devonta Freeman totaling 80 points combined to keep things relatively even. However, Brian began to pull away when Julio Jones took over the Falcons' comeback, snagging two TD grabs which counts as double when Matty Ice is throwing them. The backbreaker was Jones catching a one yard TD from Ryan when it appeared as though Freeman may have punched it in for Dave. Steve Smith sealed it with an incredible 45-point performance as Brian is knocking on the door of rewriting the record books. It can't be understated how impressive his team looks and it just shows how much will be needed to knock him off his throne. To conclude his week, Brian had Jamaal Charles casually chip in 29 points to put him at 196 for the week, meaning that he has set the single game record for most points in a week and even with dud from the overrated, overhyped, bust Matt Jones (plz trade him to me, Bri) he rolls into Week 4 as the clear cut favorite and best team in this league. It would take either Andy Dalton or Dave Troiano to knock him off at this point. Brian's quote for the week stems from his recent criticism received by league members.

"Jesus, where do I start. It is only week three but damn I'm breaking records all across the board. Most importantly, I'd like to say fuck you Josh for telling me my team was bad. Every year, people overlook my drafting abilities. Again I say fuck you to all the haters. I will when I'm wrong though it looks like a new powerhouse has developed in Dom's team. Dom a piece of advice from a two-time champ. "Don't get too antsy at 3-0 my friend, not guaranteed a playoff spot just yet." On a real note does anyone think they can even compete with my team right now."

Well there you have it, if you were looking a word to describe Brian, modest has to be at the top of the list. #NoHaters #NoRagrets 

Alfred Morris would have NEVER fumbled.

Well, the dream season hit a small bump in the road (emphasis on small) but Dave turned in a fantastic performance in a loss to Brian. Against any other squad, he's 3-0 but unfortunatley he ran into the "HEH" buzzsaw. Dave has to be exciting about another one of his young talents going off as Devonta Freeman put up an amazing 45 points while Kendall Wright and Larry Fitzgerald combined for nearly 50. You can't count out Dave as a legitimate threat in addition to doing all of this scoring without a healthy Drew Brees and Alshon Jeffrey. When asked to assess his championship odds after a strong week, Troiano had this to say:

"We need to tweak the QB position slightly. I honestly think Helen Keller could read a defense better than Kaepernick. All in all, I couldn't be prouder of how my team performed and we're pretty banged up. Can't wait to see us at full strength."

Neither can I Dave, I have officially starting rooting for you more than my actual team. He makes a great point though. Both of his keepers aren't healthy and Dave still looks like a strong contender. He has now become a feared opponent once again and the league is better because of it.

Has Dave found a diamond in the rough with Freeman?

NOW, FOR YOUR WEEKLY RECAP....

Largest Margin of Victory: 

- Date Rape Bill Crosby over Taco Corp - 51 Points

Upset of the Week:

- Schenectady Schmeckles over Sweet Drippins - 12 Point Underdog

Most Points Scored ($10 for Week 3): 

- Date Rape Bill Crosby - 195.6 Points

Least Points Scored: 

- Prestige Worldwide - 81.5

Best Waiver Pickup: 

- Steelers D (Taco Corp) - 11 Points

When you wake up on Tuesday morning and find out you won.

Veto Corleone - 98.8

Kissing Suzy Kolber - 97

Going into the Monday night game, it looked like the Cookie Man had a layup but a huge comeback from KSK had him staring at 0-3 with Chreeyusz but with a late surge from Jeremy Maclin, he pulled off an amazing last second victory although Ben had tucked himself into bed before he realized he pulled off a late miracle. Malin scored nearly all of his 24 points in the Chiefs' comeback effort and Ben will be so thankful for his effort in garbage time. Peyton Manning (sat once again) and Demaryius looked much better on Sunday night but the question marks with CJ Anderson remain. Although the run defense of Detroit is tougher than a Drew Fahrenz shoulder workout, he couldn't hit a hole to save his life. Going forward, something needs to be done for Ben's RBs but it seems like the pairing of Peyton and Demaryius will keep him competitive every single week. When asked about his huge win, Ben said:

"In (fantasy) football you can always control the controllables. My players control how they play. I control the lineup. It's on me if I can't set a consistent lineup, and going forward 100 points will be the goal week in and week out. As a team, we're capable of big performances. I hope this win can spark us going forward."

Peyton showing how close Ben was to the ledge when staring 0-3 in the face.

After a vicious comeback for Vin, it was all gone to waste as Jeremy Maclin's garbage time performance bailed out Ben for his first win. Thank goodness for Aaron Rodgers. Only Olivia Munn and Wisconsin natives could be more grateful than Vinnie is for having #12 on his squad. In what looked like another loss with an extremely poor performance from his supporting cast, Rodgers dialed up 45 points with Lacy chipping in enough points to put Vinnie over the top. Prior to the Monday Night game, Vinnie told Ben, "Together, wer'e setting Fantasy Football back 20 years" and it looked like it was true until Rodgers hit the field. However, the comeback would still come up short and now at 1-2, Vinnie is looking for answers. He desperately needs someone else in his roster outside of Rodgers and OBJ to step up. I asked him about his roster depth and he had this to say:

"Fontana is good egg. This was an ugly game. It's a shame someone had to win/ KSK has some big steps to make to even think about the playoffs. Scoring three figures would be a great start."

Andre Johnson desperately trying to recapture the feeling of an actual catch.

Too Many Cooks - 81.5

Destroy HIM - 112.2

Well, well, well, look who's undefeated? Dom's dream season continues with an impressive blowout victory over his once-relevant brother. This one wasn't really ever close as the combination of Adrian Peterson, Amari Cooper and Cam Newton powered Destroy Him to their first 3-0 start in franchise history. This was just another potent reminder of how strong Dom's squad can be. Matt Forte and Megatron weren't great but the rest of the team picked up the slack en route to a 3rd straight victory. I would not be surprised if Dom finally makes a deep run into the playoffs in his 4th season and right now he has the team and the confidence to get him there. When asked about the win and a strong 3-0 start, Dom had this to say:

"Y'all should buy this (referring to the league)"

Next week, Dom squares off against Dave in what should be another heavyweight matchup.

Amari Cooper has Dom rolling into a possible playoff berth

It's been almost five years and it FINALLY happened. Nick Caputo is under .500 for the first time in his career. Known for his fast starts and slower finishes, Too Many Cooks is in a rough spot with a loss to his brother. Another stat I simply can't believe. His trade for Alfred Morris looks like a dud in the making and his team consists of 7 running backs who can't figure out a double digit performance when they're started but have no problem doing it on the bench. At this point, Nick would be wise to throw darts at his team's RBs blindfolded to pick each week because logic and reasoning is simply out the window. Nick declined comment for the recap due to mental preparation for next week's ever-important matchup against the Schmeckles. However, he does have a new team name, a method that has proven to be successful for him in the past after a loss. Will it work this time? Probz not.

Just remember, when you drink your next beer (not you, Chreeyusz), remember to pour some out in memory of Nick's fantasy season, gone but not forgotten. We hardly knew ye.

Live look at Nick Caputo in his office.

The Upper Deckers - 138.3 

The Apocalypse - 147.2

Joe finally got his man back in action this weekend and he gracious to see him on the field. Starting off his 2015 season with a bang, LeVeon got Joe off to a strong start but it was newly acquired Randall Cobb that put the game on ice for Juice. Finally picking up his first win of the season, a sluggish start could all be shaken off with another win next week. When asked about the come from behind win, Joe said:

"The whole weekend Will and I were in a very close matchup. It came down to the final game of the week where we both had talented players in. It was exciting to watch and unfortunate for Will my guy (Randy Cobb) was the victor. I put up a decent amount of points this week. Let's just keep it rolling against Ben next week."

Even Will had some promising words for his opponent as he said, "Let it be clear, Joe's team with LeVeon Bell is not the same team we saw through the first two games of the season."  You certainly have to take any claim from Will Gavin serious and I whole-heartedly agree. 

Cobb already feeling the love from Joe.

It didn't take long for Marshawn to drastically affect Will's team. Sitting out for a majority of Sunday's game was certainly not part of the plan. An aching back (probably diahhrea) caused Marshawn to sit out for most of the contest as the Seahawks moved forward without him. Thankfully, so did Will's team. Led by a surprising performance by Ryan Mathews and a massive game for AJ Green, The Upper Deckers dropped a deuce on Joe in the early portion of the matchup but Travis Kelce wasn't enough for Will to hold off Randall Cobb to preserve Will's second victory. Aside from the loss, Will has to be satisfied with the production he received from his role players. He had this to say about rebounding from a heartbreaking loss:

"It's hard not to be disappointed after a loss like this. I've got to give credit Joe's squad; they showed up in a big way this week. Moving to 1-2 on this is definitely a tough hit, but I still feel we have the personnel to be competitive at the end of the year. Back to the drawing board for now."

Will's reaction to Marshawn missing most of Sunday's game.

Sweet Drippins - 102.8

Schenectady Schmeckles - 114.7

Well, that didn't last long. Another week, another brutal injury for Sweet Drippins. Unfortunately, Aaron's squad wasn't able to pull off the shorthanded win as they were dealt their first loss of the season to the Schmeckles. Antonio Brown had another great performance but win Roethlisberger out for at least a month, will he have the same production? It all lies on the shoulder of Michael Vick. For the time being, Aaron will likely move forward with his third-string stash, Tyrod Taylor. T-Mobile has been as good advertised with another strong performance against the Dolphins. Hopefully for Aaron's sake, there won't any lag between the vag for his QB play. Also, any contributions from Lamar Miller or CJ Spiller would help greatly because like a  healthy Tony Romo collarbone, it's been non-existent thus far. When asked about his QB misfortune, Aaron told me:

"It's devastating losing two elite QBs in two straight weeks but we still almost won without Big Ben. I'm extremely confident in Tyrod moving forward after this week's performance against the Fins. If he keeps putting up numbers like that then I'm parting ways with Romo and Big Ben. It's Tyrod's job to lose right now."

It's T-Mobile Time. Can Aaron support the Bills Mafia?

The Schmeckles have caught fire! Riding the golden arm of TB12, Chris has finally reached an over-.500 record in his Slushie Sunday career. Brady and Edelman were boner-enducing (for Pats fans and most homosexual New Englanders) with another incredible performance while Mark Ingram, Jimmy Graham and Dion Lewis chipped in 15+ points each to get Chris his second win. All season, he's been waiting for the rest of his team to come around and it's finally starting to happen. A massive week against Brian had him come up short to open the season but each week he's managed to put up 100+ points in every week and looks like a legitimate force for the weeks to come. When asked about the hot start and the golden arm of Tommy Brady, Chris had this to say:

"I'm very pleased with my start to the season. I think this roster the fire power to beat anyone. Obviously going heavy on the Pats in the draft has helped that. Tom is undoubtedly the catalyst and his motivation is the sparking the rest of the team. He could have come out in the 4th quarter against the Jags, but he didn't. Because he's on a mission. And once Arian Foster comes back healthy and rounds out my backfield I really like my chances to make some noise in the playoffs."

Chris has another potential lay-up next week as he faces Nick (fuck!) but there's a catch: he doesn't have Edelman, Lewis, Brady and Gostkowski (#KickersLivesMatter) off of a bye week. Please Chris, spare me.

Quick preview of Chris' matchup against Nick...

Fucking ThunderC#*$ - 116.6

Team New Year - 100

Finally, Josh has a win in 2015. Already going into a personal meltdown last week, proposing trades until his fingers bled, Mommy Slut finally found a trade partner (me included) in Joe and it appears as though he has turned his season around with a major deal. Sending his favorite player (Dez), a stud wideout in Cobb and  to The Apocalypse in exchange for Ameer Abdullah, Keenan Allen and TY Hilton. Josh received a huge boost in their respective debuts. Each one scored a tuddy and sealed the deal against Chreeyusz. Josh was extremely excited to get the monkey (loser monkey that is) off his back this season. When reached for comment in his post-game presser, he had this to say:

"This weekend was a weekend for the ages. I'm so proud of these boys and what they went through these past few weeks. Even though the wins were'nt there, the effort was. Some may have labeled us as a "rebuilding team", and hell, some of us in the main office may have thought so for a minute as well, but not these boys. They left it all out on the field, 110%. I personally talked to Latavius (Murray) and he told me, "Don't worry coach, we gots this." So I trusted him, and he didn't upset me. No more questions please." 

On paper, his team still needs work but each player has consistently put up points each week and will only get stronger as the season goes on. Josh's prospects of making the playoffs have drastically changed in the past 8 days.

Josh may have used McFadden in the past but this Raiders' RB is here to stay

As for Chreeyusz, his woes continued with another loss but his team showed improvement in defeat for a little slice of a silver lining. Mike Evans returned and put up strong numbers but Chris will need more than that to get back into the playoffs. Russell Wilson didn't need to much against Chicago and Jeremy Hill struggled once again. In order for Chris to be successful, Hill has to be alot more than his current output. A young trio of Evans, Landry and Allen Robinson paired with Olsen and Russ Wilson is very strong but the run game has to improve over the next few weeks. Chreeyusz had this say in regards to his rough start to 2015:

"In my mind I'm 2-1. I'm just starting the wrong players right now. It's bad management and I shouldn't have lost to that no-good loser, Josh."

Strong words from Chreeyusz who's clearly upset with his team's performance. Next week, he looks to pick up his first win in an extremely tough task against Brian.

Mike Evans finally returns but is it too late for Chreeyusz?