Benny Football's SSFFL Round 1 Playoff Preview

By: Benjamin Fontana, Cleveland Plain Dealer

Welcome to the 2017 Slushie Sundays playoffs. I couldn’t be more excited, with $655 on the line for the winner of the 3-week playoff bracket, and $200 going to the runner-up. Let’s get right into the match-ups.

Playoff Payouts:

1st - $655
2nd - $200
3rd - $100 (Consolation Game Winner)
4th - $50 (Consolation Game Loser)

9th - 1st Pick in 2018 Slushie Sundays Draft (Loser's Bracket Champion*)
12th - Shame...in the form of a Novelty License Plate ("Plate Game" Loser)

Willy G's Power Rankings - Week 8

Power Rankings - Week 8

With  just over half of the regular season behind us, it seemed the appropriate time to assess where the league is at with some power rankings. The rankings below constitute my opinion of how the league ranks as far as each team’s roster, and ability to succeed going forward. I did not rank teams based on their success so far (if you want that, you can just check the standings), and trades have made a significant impact in where teams will end up on this list.

#12: Why You Pee On My Car?

Sorry Aaron, but a lot of it has to do with momentum. After a 2-0 start, Aaron is now riding a 5 game losing streak into week 8, and coming off a 46 point performance. While the Antonio Brown/Big Ben trade away may have been beneficial for Aaron’s team for the future (Christian McCaffrey looks to be a pass catching machine at RB, and Big Ben has been fading as a fantasy QB), Brown was his only fantasy “stud”, a guy that could win you any given week. He has done a nice job finding fill in RB’s off of waivers thus far, but they look unlikely to be permanent solutions at the spot (Chris Ivory, Wendell Smallwood, Derrick Henry, Elijah Mcguire). McCaffrey gives him a guy that he can set and forget at RB going forward. Pierre Garcon looks to be his most consistent WR, and Alshon Jeffrey has been big for the Eagles success, but the emergence of Zach Ertz and Nelson Agholor cut into Jeffrey’s ability to put up WR1 numbers.

Regular Season Prediction: 4-9


#11: Kissing Suzy Kolber

Despite giving up Brandin Cooks, Vinnies team is still heavy with New England Patriots, who have indeed been one of the top offenses in the NFL, to no one’s surprise. But despite the Pat’s offensive success, it hasn’t translated into a ton of fantasy points for Vinnie's team. This may be partially due to the Patriots tendency to spread the ball out to a lot of different weapons.He was hurt early in the season by the Redskins slow start (Rob Kelley and Jamison Crowder have been duds so far). This team certainly has a lot of fantasy talent - Michael Crabtree and Chris Hogan are two very underrated fantasy players, and Tom Brady is an elite fantasy QB. Orleans Darkwa is potentially the first Giants RB to be fantasy relevant in awhile, but Joe Mixon has yet to breakout like many people thought he would.

Regular Season Prediction: 4-9


#10: Sch’dy Schmeckles

Chris has two standout WR in Demaryius Thomas and Larry Fitzgerald. But it’s hard to envision either of them having a great rest of the season with Drew Stanton (Just google Drew Stanton Supergirl: enough said) at the helm for the Cardinals, and Trevor Siemian really struggling to get DT the ball (He has less than 2 fantasy points in 2 of his last 3 games). Kirk Cousins has been great since his slow start, and Zach Ertz is the fantasy TE to own this year. But his team is thin at RB (Matt Forte, Mike Gillislee, Frank Gore, Alex Collins), and lacking those guys to get you consistent touches and points at the RB spot makes it hard to win in weeks when you’re other guys don’t have blow up games.

Regular Season Prediction: 5-8


#9: Im Fucked DJ on the Block

I’m sure I’ll catch some flak for this, but Josh’s team has overperformed it’s value so far. He lost 2 of the top fantasy players, and nobody really knows what Zeke’s season will look like a few weeks from now. Nelson Agholor, Mike Williams, Allen Hurns, and Sammy Watkins are all middle of the road WRs. Alex Smith has been a pleasant surprise, but being the #1 ranked QB means he only averages 1 more fantasy point per game than the next several QB’s. Dion Lewis was a sneaky good pickup, and may take control of the New England backfield in future weeks. If Zeke plays all season, Lewis takes control of the Patriots backfield, Alex Smith continues his MVP campaign, and he picks the right combo of WR every week, then Josh will end up near the top of the standings. But to me, that’s a lot of what if’s.

Regular Season Prediction: 7-6


#8: Team New Year

This was a tough spot to pick. Chreeyusz has a solid squad, but lack of RB’s puts him here. Amari Cooper finally picked up the slack, but can we really expect any more 200 yard, 2 td games? Hopefully last Thursday was the sign of Cooper getting on track, but as a big play threat with a low floor (look at his fantasy scores weeks 3-5) he may have some weeks that it’s hard to put him in your lineup. The injury to Stefon Diggs has raised concerns for his fantasy owners, but Chris has gotten great production from Jarvis Landry. Marshawn Lynch and Isaiah Crowell have been disappointments this season, and we have really only seen one week of fantasy relevance from Adrian Peterson. He’ll need Cooper to perform well the rest of the way, and will need a healthy Stefon Diggs as well.

Regular Season Prediction: 6-7


#7: Wentz Wagon

The insertion of Carson Wentz into his lineup, and the subsequent change in team name have sparked some life into the Cookie Man’s team. He’s got a great team this year, with several guys on his bench yearning for a chance to play (Aaron Jones, James White are both starting quality RB). He owns 3 of the top 17 RB in fantasy points, and they are guys that are getting touches and consistent points every week (Alvin Kamara, Kareem Hunt, Buck Allen). Michael Thomas and Adam Thielen are both safe and very good WR as well, but are not the type of guys to win you a week. Austin Sefarian-Jenkins does look to be a difference maker at the tight end spot, becoming one of the focal points of the jets offense. His WR depth is a bit shaky however. Martavis Bryant has been a joke this year, DeVante Parker’s has yet to get healthy, and Robert Woods is unexciting as a fantasy WR.

Regular Season Prediction: 6-7


#6: Death Row Records

If we were ranking teams based on owners, I’d have Nick in the top 3, as that is where he seems to finish every year. But I can’t anticipate waiver pickups and start/sit decisions of another owner, so this is where I have him based on his current roster. We have no idea if Andrew Luck will be back at all this season, and that hurts T.Y. Hiltons’ stock quite a bit. Jordy Nelson is an elite fantasy WR.. when Aaron Rodgers is on the field. Hard to picture a scenario where he gets the same production with Hundley at QB though. Nick has a really nice mix of RB (Doug Martin, Chris Thompson, Jerick McKinnon, Lamar Miller), so good depth at that position, and Hunter Henry has been producing really nicely. But the questions surrounding his wide receivers make that a position that I have less confidence in.

Regular Season Prediction: 7-6


#5: The House That Julio Built

Yuck. Pains me to say it, but Brian now has one of the best starting lineups in the league. Ajayi has underwhelmed so far, but has been getting so many touches, you have to figure he’ll start to score some touchdowns. LeSean McCoy is the focal point of the Bills offense. Julio Jones, Dez Bryant, and Brandin Cooks make up a nice trio of WR’s. He’s very deep at TE- especially if Reed can stay healthy for once (Jordan Reed, Evan Engram, Charles Clay when back from injury), but lacks depth at the WR spot. He would be wise to ditch Matt Ryan at QB (Who is ranked 24th in fantasy points for QB’s) and upgrade the position, but he is likely to put up points each week either way.

Regular Season Prediction: 7-6


#4: Sergio Dipp

Dom has two of the premier wide receivers in fantasy football with AJ Green and Mike Evans. He has Rob Gronkowski, a potential week winner on any week, and one of the top RB in Melvin Gordon. But with Rodgers out, Davante Adams value is called into question. Tevin Coleman has been solid, but on an offense that has been struggling. Ty Montgomery seems to get less and less work each week, with the ascension of Aaron Jones. He has a team I wouldn’t be surprised to see in the Championship at the end of the season, but it will take some big performances from his big name players.

Regular Season Prediction: 8-5


#3: Dewsy McDukesters

Leonard Fournette and Jordan Howard are both workhorse running backs on teams that are committed to running the ball first. That is a lot of guaranteed touches, and a good opportunity for fantasy points. On the flip side of that, the Seahawks can’t run the ball to save their life, which adds value to Russell Wilson and Doug Baldwin. I’ll need to continue to get steady production from Duke Johnson (Who I auto-drafted when my computer froze up, whoops) to churn out enough points each week. My team doesn’t have the ceiling that many others do, but has had a great floor so far- leading me to 6 straight weeks with 100+ fantasy points. I’ll probably get knocked off in the playoffs by somebody’s team having a blow up day, but If I can end the playoff drought (3 straight seasons without an appearance), I’ll be very happy. PS: I should get Danny Woodhead around week 10 or 11 off of IR. Remains to be seen how he will get used given Buck Allen’s current utilization, but he will certainly add some depth.

Regular Season Prediction: 7-6


#2: WATSON GANG

Joe and the WATSON GANG have been surreal the last 2 weeks. Joe has now scored 290 points in the last 2 weeks combined. Possibly the biggest waiver addition of the season so far is Deshaun Watson, who has been incredible throughout this early season. Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown is a combination that you never want to play against in fantasy, and Mark Ingram appears to be a top tier fantasy RB with Adrian Peterson out of the mix. He has a few questions as far as depth on his bench, but there is no denying that Joe’s team has the most firepower in the league.

Regular Season Prediction: 8-5


#1: Are Bonita Fish Big?

Dave has scored 100 points in 5 out of 7 weeks, and has not scored less than 95 points yet. When you can produce consistent points, you will give yourself the opportunity to win in any given week. He has depth at RB (Devonta Freeman, Todd Gurley, Carlos Hyde, and Ameer Abdullah). He also owns 2 of the top 3 fantasy WR in points scored (Deandre Hopkins, Tyreek Hill). Cam has been boom or bust each week so far, but Dave’s team has enough balance throughout the rest of his lineup to offset the bust weeks, and still pull out a victory. Pencil him in as the top team in the league through 7 games.

Regular Season Prediction: 9-4

Will Gavin's Wednesday Six-Pack: Week 5 Edition

YTD: 0-0

Just a quick introduction, since I’ve been absent through the first quarter of the season (I’ll let Nick stick to the real writing, because god knows it’s not my strength). It has been a great start to the 7th(!) season of Slushie Sundays, and I’ve been loving all the content from everyone so far. I can’t promise to write this every week, because some weeks I just don’t have it in me, but it definitely won’t be the last of my weekly picks columns this season. 

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We are now in our 6th year of this as a keeper league, and it’s pretty cool to look back at some of the drafts to see who guys spent big draft picks on or decided to keep. Some teams, such as Daves have been handsomely rewarded by keepers. He has now owned the trio of Todd Gurley (4th round), Devonta Freeman (8th round), and Deandre Hopkins (3rd round) for three consecutive seasons. They led him to a championship, performed subpar for a season, and are now leading him to the best record in the league. Some teams have decided to trade off assets for future draft picks (see Josh, Dom in recent years), and have seen it pay off. Josh had just one keeper last season, but instead capitalized in the draft to win in some of the most dominating fashion in Slushie Sundays history. Other players (me) have spent keepers on players such as Justin Forsett or Demarco Murray with the Eagles, to completely bone my season from the get go. Certain players have been staples of some teams for many years (see: Joe and Lev Bell, Will and AJ Green, Nick and Andrew Luck, and many more that escape me). Some teams have been rewarded by loyalty to solid keepers, and other teams have been beaten by it due to inconsistency or injury.  

The one thing for certain is that there is no one strategy for sure to succeed in this league. In a league that now has 10 teams separated by just one game, you can’t count any team out. Anyways, on to my picks:

The Dozen - Slushie Sundays Week 3 Recap

Well this is certainly not how we envisioned the league to look after three weeks. Aside from Dave's squad remaining undefeated of course. Regardless, it has been the bizarro world in the first quarter of the Slushie Sundays Fantasy Football League. Early preseason favorites are not only 1-2 (Josh, Aaron and Brian) but they're also struggling to score points. Yes, scoring has been down early on but this week we experienced a great set of games in the NFL with plenty of points on the board. Will these teams bounce back? Who knows. Brian had a great roster last year and caught a horrific string of bad luck that boxed him out of a late playoff berth. Although all wins matters equally, setting the tone early is normally in everyone's best interest. 

Surprisingly, especially with last season's flurry of roster moves, there haven't been any trades. Shocking I know, but it appears as though maybe teams have become more conservative with their draft picks and are now realizing the danger of unloading picks. There's still time for this to change but it is interesting, even with only three weeks into the season. I applaud teams for not panicking and sticking to their picks and allowing the new waiver bidding system to do it's job. As I hoped, in my opinion, it's creating an extra layer of strategy to an already competitive league. We've seen teams completely burned by it (Chris Casey) and some bids for significant money paying off (Tarik Cohen). Extra strategy but also less desperation, as teams that budget their salary careful realize they could change the landscape of their roster with economical bidding. Hope you all are enjoying the difficulty of an added dimension like myself.

Of the teams missing out on the postseason in 2016, it's fair to say each team has shown improvements already in the young season. Dom and Chris Casey are scoring over 100 points per game while Will was a monster Larry Fitzgerald game away from being 2-1. As for Brian, his team boasts one of the best lineups in the league, simply a lack of touchdowns has crippled a few matchups. The parity of this league is it's true hallmark. Granted, only four champions in six years isn't the best example, but the fluctuation of teams from each year is nice to see. Dave is the perfect example.

For years, Dave swore off fantasy football and was begged to join the league. After a rough couple seasons, he teetered on the edge of not wanting to continue playing. However, he decided to stick with it and has ripped off what looks to be a third straight successful season. With his amazing run to an upset victory in the Super Bowl V, to an earnest title defense cut short by an upset from Joe, Dave is poised to show he belongs as an elite owner. His title ensures his clout along the league and our full respect (as always) but Dave would rather be feared than loved. While displaying phenomenal sportsmanship - which was recently criticized - we know that Dave is hungry to get back to the glory days of his title run. 

Back in 2015, he was the people's champ, an outsider who through a grassroots movement represented the downtrodden fantasy owners, inspiring wisdom and confidence to those less fortunate all the way to fantasy immortality. But he's never forgot where he came from and never took anything for granted. Putting it man hours each week and season to ensure sustained greatness like his idol, Coach K. Although focused on season and week-long goals, he's always looking to the future and making sure his team represents sustained success, whether it's through integrity, respect from his fellow owners or just winning games. I am so proud of you Dave, and as a fan from the beginning, I've enjoyed every part of the ride. 

The Dozen - Slushie Sundays Week 2 Recap

We have pivoted at the office of the Slushie Sundays official league blog. After serious consideration and courting public opinion (one text to Ben this weekend), I have decided to switch things up a little to avoid being stale. Millennials these days are too preoccupied by their gadgets and Instagram stories to get the ink underneath their fingers and read an online article that doesn't have video content. Then I remembered how my face looks on a front-facing camera and thought otherwise.

So instead, I spared you all the displeasure of me creating digital content and strive to shuffle my method of writing. Many people (a few people kindly posting feedback) have been saying they love the rants and since they're much easier to conjure up, they will remain and serve as the backbone of these write-ups. I can honestly write for hours about random stuff and existential crisis caused by fantasy football, it's the boring, repetitive recaps that make me want to chop my fingers off.

To that, I prevent to you "The Dozen", a weekly roundup of each team based on the current standings each week. I'll leave the hot takes and debates to the video content professionals, Brian, Joe and Aaron. Assuming they'll begin to post power rankings, it would be foolish to post my own, instead I will assess, compliment, hate on and subtly jab at each roster from my keyboard and if anything sounds controversial, I'll be covered by the insanity and smack talk thrown at us by each video series. Each team will receive a "Good" and "Bad" analysis, since no team is perfect, even Dave's (yet). Dynamics of team's change so often and it will be interesting to track how the landscape of each roster changes with the passing weeks.

So just to reiterate, these are NOT power rankings. Straight facts homie. The picture of the standings below each week will determine the order of The Dozen. Unsatisfied with your position? Win more games, it's as simple as that. This format may change over the season but I figured a change of pace would do the blog some good.

The Dozen - Slushie Sundays Week 1 Recap

Welcome back to another season of Slushie Sundays football. The last time I spoke with you, I actually championship aspirations (2016 was crazyyy mannn). To bring you up to speed, I lost, so did ten other schmucks and Josh won. Aside from the money, the fame, the fans, the trophy is Josh really all that different from any of us? I think we're all winners for being a part of this tight knit fraternity that would rather ridicule others for roster decisions than partake in butt-chugging or whatever they do in those things.

We waited all summer for this write-up season and it proved once again that a football Sunday is even better than *insert PG-13 reference to not upset future corporate sponsors of this blog*. For six lucky souls, it was the result they envisioned five long, painstaking days ago when they drafted the remaining core of their roster. There is nothing sweeter than witnessing offseason hype and optimism ring true, regardless of the result. Sure, teams known for prolific scoring were required to get down and dirty in their matchups but in my opinion, wins like this build character. But what would I know? I lost in a shootout.

All kidding aside, there was some horrendous football played on Sunday and teams were blindsided like Joe Theismann. I did you all a favor and didn't hyperlink the video of his leg being mangled but next week I can promise more bodily injuries in the write up. I'm getting extremely off topic but what I truly intended to prove in this paragraph was that this is a results based league. Unfortunately for some, moral victories aren't properly compensated in Slushie Sundays and usually (in my ideal universe), the most victories receives the glory.

That being said, don't get bent out of shape after one loss and gut your entire roster, it gets better; hopefully. Trust me, I wanted nothing more than to walk roundtrip to Denver/Cleveland/Los Angeles to beat Trevor Simeian, Ben and Adam Vinatieri with a pillowcase full of nickels to vent my frustrations in succession, but my wellness advisor (the beer in my fridge) instructed me to breathe easy and focus on the upcoming weeks. For it is a marathon, not a sprint. With injuries, suspensions, benchings, etc. anything can happen this season and I sincerely mean it. We can draft our players and set our lineups but aside from that, we are held hostage to the decisions of dimwitted coaches, play-callers and millionaire athletes who don't even know we exist. It's all about having FUN and not losing your sanity (this will be fun to read again in three weeks if I still have a losing record). Gotta love fantasy football right?

Week 12 Recap & Week 13 Preview: CRUNCHTIME

This is the end. This is the end, my friends. In what seemed like it was just yesterday, the 2016 season has come and gone. However, a whole season is about to begin. That's right, it's playoff time baby. For some select teams, it has been playoff mode since the beginning of November. I would also like to say I hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving with your respective families and you know for a fact that I made it aware I was thankful for this league and all of you. The break from reality this league provides me on a daily basis during the fall is unmatched by anything else and the ability to stay in touch with each of you distance-aside is fantastic. 

We've had a great season thus far and it can only get better from here. I wish you all the best of luck in the playoffs and the consolation bracket. As we've seen from this year and TY Beanies, all it takes is one 1st round pick to change the entire fortune of a franchise. I don't know if next year's rookie class may yield talent like this season but we can certainly hope for reviving the non-playoff teams of 2016. This league prides itself on the basis of being consistently inconsistent, where teams rise and fall with each passing year, keeping everyone on their toes. Whatever happens from this point forward, will certainly not be replicated this time next season. At the end of the recap, I'll make my best attempt to determine the playoff seedings and what it will take for team's to make the playoffs at this point. Best of luck to all the rest of the way and remember to set those lineups. Playoff seeding, berths and draft picks are all at stake at this point.

GAME OF THE WEEK

(7-5) Why You Pee On My Car? - 132.9

(5-7) Dirty Birds, Inc. - 99.9

After making a hefty wager in the beginning of the season pitting each team's respective studs against each other (Brown and Jones), Aaron took a step closer to the $100 wager with a massive game from his conglomerate of Steelers. Brown, Roethlisberger and a stingy Pittsburgh defense set the tone early on Thanksgiving night, easing their way to Aaron's 7th victory of the season. Now slotted in the 3rd seed, WYPOMC has officially clinched a playoff berth after the truly unfortunate 2015 season that left fans of the team and front office wondering what could have been. Not anymore. Aaron's team rebounded from a slow start to form one of the more potent lineups in the league. Owner Aaron Pommer must be ecstatic to be back in the big dance to continue his redemption tour and has his team's sights set on the ultimate prize. A win this weekend in the season finale will officially clinch the 3rd seed, although it could be anyone in the 6th seed for his potential matchup. Who knows, it could even be Brian the way things are shaping up.

It is do or die for the final time this season for Bri. After a loss to Aaron put him in the 9th seed at 5-7, he will need to beat Dave in order to make the playoffs and will need some help from Joe as well. Julio Jones and  Matt Ryan got the W against Arizona but their scores weren't too flattering. Nonetheless, with yet another Super Bowl rematch this week against Dave, Brian has the chance to get into the playoffs with a victory. What seed he would be if he wins remains to be seen but the only thing that could keep him out would be a loss at this point. He would hold the tiebreaker over Dave with another win and if Chris happens to upset Joe, we could potentially see a Josh-Brian matchup in the first round. Talk about a true gauntlet after scratching and clawing his way to this point. Currently projected to beat Dave and enact his revenge on last year's champ, Brian will be out for blood

(5-7) Hogan Knows Best - 91.4
(6-6) EBDB BnB - 124.1
Dave finally pulled the plug on the Blake Bortles experiment and he kept his playoff chances alive. Following a huge Thursday game from Kirk Cousins, EBDB BnB rebounded to get back to 6-6. Staring at 5th straight loss, Dave's players rallied around their owner and picked up a crucial victory. We knew the defending champs would not go quietly into the night and now have another must win game this weekend. Kelvin Benjamin was once again kept in check besides a long TD and Gurley had another lukewarm performance but now is not the time to hold back. Facing Brian in a Super Bowl rematch with win and get in stakes, it is all hands on deck this weekend. Carolina plays on Sunday night while Cousins faces a difficult road test in Arizona. Brian's team has played well of late and of course, will rely on the Falcons to win him the matchup. Can Devonta Freeman steal points from Jones and Ryan to vault Dave into the playoffs? Did I mention he could knock Brian out. What a matchup it will be.

This could be the final stake in Will's season. After showing flashes of hope for the playoffs last week, he stumbled to another loss, putting him in 10th once again. Needing losses from Chris and Brian seem reasonable but the task of beating Josh seem insurmountable. Only once has Josh lost this season and Will needs a heroic performance from his squad to pull it off. It all starts on Thursday Night, it is imperative that Minnesota holds Zeke in check while Dak has the best game of his young career (update, Will started Kaepernick anyways). Then he must dodge more bullets than Neo to even consider the upset victory. Strong games from Jamison Crowder, Sammy Watkins and Fat Rob Kelley would certainly be appreciated. If all else fails, Will's team would be in great shape to snag that #1 pick for next season to start the rebuilding process.

(4-8) The Shitty Beatles - 89.3
(8-4) Brule's Rules - 77
This season most likely ends with another season without a playoff berth but you can't say anything negative against the fight in Dom's team. He'll come up a game short of the postseason but he has the chance to win 5 of the last 6 matchups to get back to 5-7. In addition, the one loss included a nailbiter against the best team in the league. He was plagued by bad luck and got beat by an ungodly amount of points each of the first five weeks but it wasn't all a wash. He totes an impressive arsenal of draft picks, readying him for a revival in 2017. Hopefully he avoids the license plate holder game and can solidify his keepers for next season in the process. Trust the process in 2017. Hopefully we can see Dom back in the spotlight for something other than massive fire sales next season.

Welp, the hits keep coming for the former #1 seed. Nick lost against Dom to put him at three straight losses. Granted Andrew Luck not playing did not help either but his team is starting to struggle at the worst possible time. He'll use this week's matchup against Aaron to sort out his final playoff roster and get the boys some necessary rest with the division and 2-seed clinched. As of today, he would face Start The Carr in the first round but we know how much that could change by next week. Nick rebounded from weak keepers in the offseason to a dynamite roster and would not want to see this season end any earlier than the Super Bowl. 

(3-9) Schenectady Schmeckles - 107
(5-7) Team New Year - 84.9
At this point Chris is simply trying to play spoiler and he has succeeded so far. In what looked like a much needed victory for Chreeyusz, the Schmeckles held firm and knocked Chris down to 5-7 with the help of Aaron Rodgers, Tavon Austin and Terrelle Pryor. This was especially comforting as it is now starting to look like Pryor could become a viable keeper option for 2017. He will most likely post 1,000 yards with a pair of incompetent quarterbacks. Rodgers will remain a top-prize QB for a few more years and with a strong draft next year, Chris can start to climb his way back to fantasy relevancy. A consolation championship is the next step from here. Also, he has the chance to potentially knock Ben out of the playoff race this weekend. Very exciting, if you're into that kind of stuff.

It seems like it's been said every week but another frustrating loss for Chreeyusz and Team New Year. Russell Wilson turned in yet another poor performance while Allen Robinson and Jarvis Landry were non-factors on Sunday. With the loss, Chris still remains in the 8 seed for the time being but he desperately needs a win. Upsetting Joe this week would give him an automatic berth in the playoffs. However, a win by Brian and a loss to Joe would result in Chris being relegated to the consolation bracket once again. Great news for Chris coming across the wire (in terms of fantasy), Gronk will not be a factor this weekend against him. However, his Patriots suffer a massive loss going forward. I'm sure a playoff berth will help ease the pain. Team New Year has not been able to score all season and this trend must end tonight if he wants in on the big dance. His trio of receivers must step up this week and strong start from Stefon Diggs and Jerick McKinnon would be vital. 

(6-6) Start The Carr - 110.1
(6-6) Kissing Suzy Kolber - 143.8
Vinnie keeps his season alive once again with a convincing win over Start the Carr this weekend. After a huge performance from Jordan Reed on Thursday, Tom Brady and company sealed the deal to vanquish the Cookie Man. Interesting side note, Vinnie was highest scorer this week and his two top receivers gave him a combined score of -0.1. Unprecedented. The rest of the team certainly picked up the slack with 5 players scoring of 20 points to help him inch closer to the playoffs. With the win, KSK now sits in the 5th seed at 6-6 a few weeks after staring elimination square in the face. This weekend, he hopes to cement a top seed as he faces the Shitty Beatles. Although a playoff spot is not 100% guaranteed at this point, it is safe to say Vinnie will be in the postseason for a third straight season to start his career. Currently, he's slotted to face Joe in the 4/5 matchup but with the fluidity of the playoffs, who knows who he'll be matched up against opening round weekend.

Cooks was unable to officially seal a playoff spot but he is still in unless a nuclear meltdown occurs this weekend. However, he is hoping to avoid a 7 or 8-seed to ensure his season doesn't end promptly in Week 14. Especially since his team is finally starting to gel. Rookie Michael Thomas continued his fantastic rookie season while Derek Carr performed well once again but it was simply not enough to stop the highest scorer of the week. This weekend he'll face a Schmeckles team playing much better of late. Aaron Rodgers holds a favorable matchup which could make Ben weary. I don't believe he would be able to lose his playoff spot with a loss, unless Brian, Will, and Chris all win but we'll see. I'm honestly too lazy to go check it again and my fingers hurt from typing out scenarios. But you got this Cooks, it's not like Chris hasn't already started playing spoiler...

(6-6) Team RUTHLESS - 108.8
(10-1) TY Beanies - 140.8
Another convincing performance from Josh on the backs of his stud players. Led once again by David Johnson, Ezekiel Elliott and Odell Beckham, Josh cruised to his record-tying 11 win this season with his sights on history next weekend. Not much else to say about this team as they enter the postseason as the overall #1 seed and the odds-on favorite to win this whole thing. Anyone on the top half of the bracket and the doomed 8th seed (currently Chreeyusz) are hoping to avoid Josh at all costs. Next week, he'll face Will in an attempt to make Slushie Sunday history with his 12th win in 2016. In addition, a win can drive a stake in any playoff hopes Will had for this season. All Josh can do is sit back and see who his first victim is next week. Could be anyone at this point. May god have mercy on whomever gets that dreadful draw.

Joe had the opportunity to officially seal a playoff spot against his oldest rival but was blown away by the juggernaut that is TY Beanies. Le'Veon played well once again in addition to superstar Mike Evans but Drew Brees was sat and Rob Gronkowski is now out for the season. At full strength, there is no question this team can compete for the title but the inconsistency has really plagued this team. Can they rebound from this injury and make a deep playoff run for the first time in Joe's career? For starters, he has to win this week to ensure he has a spot to begin with. Highly unlikely that Will, Dave and Chris all can swing upsets but you never know at this point. Anyways, Chris had a decent trio of performances on Thursday and now Joe has his work cut out for him in terms of clinching. Le'Veon faces the Giants while Drew Brees is poised for another shootout against Detroit. If Joe wins, he has the potential to remain in the Top-5 for seeding and will avoid a tougher opponent. But, the win is also crucial to his playoff chances. Chris will not hold anything back.

PLAYOFF SCENARIOS:

(Tiebreakers are a giant bitch to figure so I won't even bother at this point. I will be more than happy to break them down this weekend as matchups become more clear...to the best of my knowledge of the tiebreaker format. Strictly requirements for playoff berths below.)

Josh, Nick & Aaron: Clinched

Joe, Ben, Chreeyusz, Dave & Vinnie: Win & In

Brian: Win + Loss from Chreeyusz

Will: Win + Losses from Chris & Brian

Dom & Chris Casey: Eliminated